LISA RINNA!!!??

Celebrity crushes are few and far between for me. I don’t have many of ’em, and most of the time, I keep ’em to myself, because I’m just not sure it does anyone any good to know these things. It’s just a little bit creepy to me. But I do have a few.
When my first future wife and I became an item, actually before we did, she knew I had a “thing” for Nicole de Boer on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. She’d tease me about it endlessly – i.e. “Yeah, yeah, you only have eyes for me and Nicole de Boer.” I think she was a bit stunned when I wasn’t that keen to watch The Dead Zone, which offered to bring a weekly dose of Nicole de Boer back into my life. I guess I’d gotten over it. And she didn’t have the Trill spots anymore.
I hate reality TV with a white-hot passion. It’s filler material to me, more useless than the most superfluous album track on any CD I own. I could handle live sports, but reality TV? It just doesn’t say anything to me. I’ve heard plenty of flowery stuff about ordinary people rising to the occasion in extradordinary situations…when more often, I guess I just see ordinary people being bitchy and taking up an hour of airtime doing it that’s putting writers, directors, actors and crew out of work. For me to take notice of any reality show is a remarkable thing.
ABC’s managed to do it, though, by putting Lisa Rinna in skimpy outfits and having her learn ballroom dancing. If you’re wondering what disparate threads could possibly be tightening here to make some sort of cohesive statement, you guessed it – I’ve had a “thing” for Lisa Rinna too. For a long, long time, back to her soap opera days. Before Lisa wound up on Dancing With The Stars, I’d been making cracks about how ABC could combine that show and Extreme Makeover into one hour and call it Dancing With The Scars. “But,” my wife protested, “ballroom dancing is very sexy. Didn’t you know that?”
Well, I know it now that Lisa Rinna’s prancing around in these little outfits that seem like they’re just begging for a wardrobe malfunction. When I mentioned that to my wife…oh. my. God. There certainly wasn’t anything about “just her and Nicole de Boer” now.
“LISA RINNA!!??”
“Uh…yes,” I said nervously. Mere seconds into the anti-Lisa Rinna tirade that immediately followed that response, I began to realize that maybe I’d said Something Wrong here. The problem is that I still haven’t quite figured out what it was.
It’s a good thing Sara Rue’s sitcom is off the air. Given how much trouble the Lisa Rinna revelation caused, I certainly don’t need my wife to found about me and Sara. 😯