Running on empty

Sorry I haven’t been updating much lately, folks. Funny how a little bundle o’ joy can keep a guy busy. He’s been having some tummy troubles, and I’m really concerned that my genetic gift to him may have been my wonky digestive system. I hope not, because I wouldn’t wish the problems I have with that set of plumbing on anyone. He’s had a rough 24 to 36 hours here, including one little incident where he basically barfed up the entire contents of his stomach. That sort of thing wipes me out when it happens – I can’t imagine how it’s gotta feel to a two-and-a-half-week-old baby. I think there’s a reason most people don’t remember that far back in their childhood – it’s a dismal mess being a helpless little human. It’d probably drive us mad. (Says the slightly crazy guy who vividly remembers his second birthday.)

I’ve been spending time working on the CGE DVD, working up more demo videos for PDF and Pixel Fiction, and getting very depressed looking at stuff like job listings. I’m all about being a stay-at-home dad, but at the moment, when we have one vastly minimized paycheck coming in and we’re trying to figure out how to pay the bills, me sitting around and burping the baby and editing video is starting to feel like I’m being a dismal failure as a dad already. Don’t get me wrong, I know that the time spent with Evan is something that I could never replace for any amount of money…but I’m worried about keeping a roof over his head, that sort of thing. The job market in this area isn’t promising – basically, if you’re south of Fayetteville, you’re just about screwed. Even if you’re willing to work an assembly line, the factories are ditching this area and making a run for the border. Too many people are already out of work. I’m just in the middle of a string of days where I feel like accidentally falling into a vat of molten metal somewhere and triggering my life insurance payout would be more of a help to my wife and my son than anything I’m doing now by being here. (Don’t read too much into that – I don’t even know where to find a vat of molten metal, so the kid is stuck with me.)

As much as you think I’d be digging being at home with an Avid at my disposal and all kinds of time to work on stuff like my web site, I’m not sure there’s much that makes me happier right now than holding my son, looking into those little eyes and wondering what’s going on in that little head. I’d love to trade places with him and have not a care in the world other than poopy pants.

About Earl

I’m the creator, editor-in-chief and head writer of theLogBook.com.

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