I don’t get into too much serious stuff of a political bent on my blog because, well, frankly, it’s not that I don’t have my opinions, but there are other people who are so much more eloquent than I am, and they can back it up with all this “research” stuff that I’m sometimes not that good at. But I thought I’d chime in with a little environmental note.

I recently killed our lawn mower. This is not something I’m proud of. I was a doofus and forgot to check the oil after it sat out for the winter. My bad. Yes, you’re right. Not just bad but just plain stupid. (Remind me to tell you what happened to my Corsica sometime. Me and combustion engines just don’t dine at the same table.)

So my wife called me today as she was window-shopping for lawn mowers, and she only half-seriously mentioned that she was looking at a solution that consumed no fuel and produced no pollution. My equally half-serious response was “We’re getting a goat?” No, that wasn’t it – we could get a manual, non-electric, non-gas-powered push mower. To her surprise and mine, I said a very emphatic “YES.” She warned me “You’re going to be getting your exercise trying to move this one around,” to which I almost replied “Uh, honey? Have you actually seen me lately? More exercise isn’t a terribly bad thing…” But I look at it this way: the one we have earmarked as the one to Buy Real Soon (as opposed to Buy It Now) has a grass collection bag. With no motor, those cuttings won’t be coated in oil, and can be fed to horses. With no motor, there won’t be any more ear-splitting engine sounds that leave me with huge headaches. And last but certainly not least, with no motor, that’s one less vital device to require gasoline, which has gone up 80 cents a gallon over the past six months. (Uh, hello? Congress? You lovely folks who I helped to vote in last November? With all due respect…this is one of those things I was hoping you’d find some ways to fix…not that I’m saying Gonzalez doesn’t need to be fixed…before he has puppies or something.)

So: an unpowered push-mower it is. (And yes, you can bet I’ll get some pictures of this puppy in action, just for the sheer curiosity value.) My little contribution to making this tiny corner of the world that I supposedly (on paper) own a better, cleaner, quieter place. Just you wait, someday when he’s old enough to mow the lawn, my son is so gonna thank us for this decision. (In the same way that every son thanks his father when the mower is thrust into his hands for the first time – with unprintable words muttered under his breath as dad walks away. 😆 )

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Earl Green ()

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7 Responses to “Mow, mow, mow your goat”

  1. Good for you. A manual lawn mower is better for the environment than a goat, anyways. What with the goats contributing to the methane pollution and all (it’s not just cows you know!).

    Damn….

    I started replying to this post with the hopes that I’d come up with some kind of goat pun but I just ain’t cutting it. The pun was greener on the other side of the post, I guess.

  2. I guess, in honor of the goat-as-lawnmower idea, you could sport a goatee whilst mowing the lawn. You could also name your new lawnmower Billy.

    And, yes, it took me a whole day to come up with that.

  3. I have a push mower for my house. Best $100 I ever spent. Its quiet, doesn’t take up much room, and as you said NO GAS 🙂

  4. No doubt about it, PDF, ewe are the pun master. However, I think we milked this topic of all relevant puns (we’re straying from the goat herd into sheep territory, after all).

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