I swear to God, my subconscious takes things it’s had no choice but to hear about in the news, redigests them and burps them up in my dreams to amuse itself, regardless of the consequences to my rational mind. Follow me on this one. If you can. I had this dream yesterday afternoon.
Basically, I had a dream/nightmare that a new global religion had taken seed overnight from what had originally been intended as a humorous Hollywood marketing campaign. The basic tenets of this religion were as follows:
- Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are supposedly the most perfect specimens of the human being ever conceived. (I don’t actually believe this, by the way.)
- Ergo, the “Brangelina Baby” is the perfect combination of the most perfect DNA the species has yet produced.
- Ergo, the child will be perfect, and ergo, this must mean that the child is Messiah.
I did warn you that this was weird, didn’t I? If not, here, have your money back, because I bloody well should have. I don’t know from what twisted depth of my subconscious this idea came, but I’d really like to send it back for a full refund. I could write eighteen paragraphs on what makes this just conceptually disturbing, what with the celebrity-obsessed society and all, but…y’know? I think it pretty much stands as-is and makes its own statement in that department. I can see where it could also be conceptually hilarious – the thought of an entire religion whose Defining Moment is the arrival of a celebrity baby – and maybe if one changes the names there’s a good comedy sketch in there, if not a longer-form story. But still…sheesh. Where do I get this stuff? I learned this information in the dream via media coverage (pretty sad when I’m watching TV while I’m asleep, eh?), and there were whole channels and shows devoted to the wait for the arrival of this baby.
Oh wait. We have that here and now, already. Only we have the good sense to marginalize it a bit and call it Access Hollywood.
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