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...And Little E Makes 3 Funny Stuff

Performance review

CatOne of Little E’s chores that he can earn money for around the house is feeding kitties and doggies. Cat feeding is normally a bit chaotic – you don’t have to feed again for two days because he usually spills as much in the floor as he gets in the bowls. But tonight? Spotless. I was shocked. The following conversation took place:

  • Me: Wow, buddy. You did a very good job of feeding kitties. You didn’t spill any cat food in the floor!
  • E: . . . (awkward pause)
  • Me: You did a great job! I’m very proud of you!
  • E: Dad… I just tooted.
  • Me: And you get to toot on the job! That’s a perk!

If he’s getting the kind of on-the-job perk package where he can fart on the job, do I really need to pay him?… Read more

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Funny Stuff Toiling In The Pixel Mines

Uah uah

Colossus is watchingWhen we last left our heroes… well, there weren’t really any heroes, just a couple of college students who had two episodes of a show, barely half an hour each, in hand, and a cable access channel ready to show whatever we threw at them (within the bounds of decency, which admittedly JCC wasn’t likely to cross).

This is the even stranger story of how Jump Cut City went from being an inside joke to something that other people were watching, and would therefore have to understand (within reason, which admittedly was not an area where JCC tended to dwell). … Read more

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Funny Stuff Toiling In The Pixel Mines

Uah

Nobody got it! Nobody! Last week’s Bad Visual Pun of the Month (well, probably more like Bad Visual Pun Of The Indeterminate Time Period) went completely unsolved. Here, then, is the answer – although it required some slightly specialized knowledge about one of my stranger creative projects.

UAH!

FIDDY CENT

There’s a pretty good chance you didn’t know how to arrive at that answer. There’s a pretty good chance you don’t know what a fiddygibber is. It’s time to change that. It’s time to tell you all about… Jump Cut City. … Read more

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Funny Stuff Toiling In The Pixel Mines

You’re in black!

Hey bro, you're in blackThere are few incidents worse than a TV station over which you’re supposedly riding herd “going black” – i.e. something, somewhere, has stopped working, and you’re broadcasting an empty signal. In the control room, this is known as “oh shit time.”

So naturally, that’s when people who have no idea what does what in master control begin calling the master control trouble line. … Read more

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Critters Funny Stuff Toiling In The Pixel Mines

Meet Explorer Earl

Dork HelmetOkay, I only thought this stuff was buried under a mile of soft peat somewhere.

Sometime in 1994, at the first TV station where I worked, I got shanghaied into being on-air talent during kids’ programming. Our kids’ club talent had just left, and there was a perfect storm brewing:

  1. The Humane Society did pet-of-the-week spots in our kids’ programming, which helped the station to fulfill its “local public service” quota. Those spots now had no host.
  2. The station had just gotten a pith helmet in a National Geographic promo kit.
  3. I was already on the payroll.

With no contract, no additional pay, and no perks, I was suddenly… Explorer Earl. … Read more

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Funny Stuff

Calm the beef min

A long time ago, seemingly in another life, back before I had a kiddo, I spent inordinate amounts of time hanging around the video-game-centric Digital Press forums. One thread pointed toward a pre-release video of some game or other on Youtube – I don’t even remember the game itself – whose comment-section responses were rapturous to say the least. Well, except for one guy. … Read more