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Funny Stuff

Arkansas Winter Weather Driving Flowchart

Since we’re getting our first snow since… well… this snow, all Arkansas drivers should read and comply immediately.

Arkansas Winter Weather Driving Flowchart

You can click on it to enlarge it; read carefully to avoid confusion.

Oklahoma drivers should substitute a random number between 0 and 79 wherever the number “5” appears on the flowchart.… Read more

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...And Little E Makes 3 Home Base

A written record of interactions with human beings

WTF?Two conversations I had with humans today, with some context.

In response to my mentioning, during a phone interview for a job at a business that has “Fayetteville” in its name but has relocated to Bentonville, that my previous job ended when I wouldn’t move to Rogers on my own dime:Bentonville is pretty much the capitol of the state now. If you’re not willing to move or work up here, you might as well get in the soup line.(My response was to politely suggest that we terminate the interview since there was an obvious misunderstanding about the location of the business; his response was to hang up on me. I’m going to assume that this will be another employer who won’t be gracing me with a letter or a phone call telling me I didn’t get the job.)

In response to me telling him we needed to go to the grocery store, and what we were going to get there, when I picked him up today:HEY EVERYBODY! MY DADDY AND I HAVE TO GO TO THE STORE! WE ARE OUT OF APPLES AND GREEN BEANS! OH! MY! GOSH! WE HAVE TO GO!(For a minute I thought he was going to raise a stampede of preschoolers to cram into my car to go Occupy The Grocery Store.)

These were my major interactions with humans today. I prefer the small ones to the big ones. If I interact with any more humans, I’ll let you know how it went, and how much ranch dressing they needed before they were palatable.… Read more

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Funny Stuff

Earl Green’s Theory of God

Every once in a while, there’s an unexpected dividend to being on Facebook, aside from getting to hear how crappy everyone’s Black Friday shopping/working experiences were, or finding out who found the damn lost sheep in Farmville. Once of my classmates found this, scanned it and posted it – I don’t think I still have my own copy of this anymore!

Earl Green's theory of GodRead more

Categories
Gaming

Thus endeth the dream (for a good cause)

Many years ago, I gained a kind of momentary internet fame (if you want to call it that) for my elaborate (and yet, on reflection, kinda cheap) game room setup, originally erected in a room of our old rental house. Rob O’Hara even covered certain parts of the game room (and asked me for a few pictures too!) in his book Invading Spaces, a guide to collecting arcade games and building the perfect game room.

Game Room

Game RoomThe idea was to create an approximation of the stand-up arcade experience without spending stand-up arcade collecting money (and without taking up stand-up arcade space). Two things drove this idea: this magnificent arcade joystick (made for the Playstation 1), and one Playstation 1 each from the U.S. and Japan. The latter allowed me to play the wealth of arcade game collections released in Japan that never came out here.

This also entailed collecting a large number of retro arcade games for the PS1, both domestic and import. Come to think of it, I made a name in video game collecting circles for that too. The game room setup was really neat – actually, it’s still set up that way in my current house, and has been since 2004 when we bought the place.

It’s in the interests of keeping the aforementioned place we’ve occupied since 2004 that I’m now in the process of selling almost all of the above. I’ve been out of work for nearly two months at this point, and we’re definitely on the pain train as a result. I’ve tried getting on as seasonal retail help, but I’ve spent my entire adult life in one industry and I’ve never worked retail before because, well, I’ve never had to. At a time of the year when they’re hoping to hire folks to can get up to speed very quickly, I’m pretty damned useless.

Kick!Anyway, here’s what’s up for grabs: anything that’s not nailed to the wall or on fire! Well, okay, maybe that’s an overgeneralization. All of my PS1 games will be up for grabs – domestic and foreign. My Japanese PS1 will be on sale soon. I’ve even got a small handful of PS2 imports that I picked up years ago in anticipation of modding my PS2… which I’ve never had done, and don’t really care to now.

I’m selling my 30-year-old Kick arcade machine as well, but only to any interested parties who want to drop by and pick it up in person and transport it themselves. Also on the block, and again preferably only to local folkels who can pick it up themselves: my Vectrex and its paraphenalia.

I’ll probably be selling some action figures and other fannish items soon, non-video-game-related.

Am I keeping anything? Yes.

Game RoomAs I mentioned above, the centerpiece of the original game room setup was this glorious joystick that beautifully recreates the feel of ’80s arcade games. I have USB PC adapters for PS1 controllers, and as such I’ll be keeping this joystick for future emulator use. It’s kinda what started me down this road, and I still love it. I’d like for my son to know a little something of the “feel” for these old games I used to spend so much of my income on.

But I don’t want him to know what it’s like to not be able to keep the lights on, so here ends that thing that used to get a lot of people looking in my direction. I’ve said for many years that, as I’ve gotten older, I’m more interested in playing games than in playing the (money) losing game known as collecting. Now it’s time to put up or shut up on that claim. Sacrifices have to be made, and anymore, in the day of near-perfect emulation on a computer or a tablet or the Wii, these games haven’t been opened up and put in an actual Playstation in a long time. If you’re looking to pick up some pieces of a much-loved, well-cared-for collection that are nearly impossible to find outside of Japan, please proceed to eBay with all deliberate speed and level up. I’ll be adding more items through the weekend.… Read more

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...And Little E Makes 3

How to make it look like your head was clumsily photoshopped onto someone else’s body: lesson #1

Lesson #1: nod really fast while the picture’s being taken.

Nod nod nod nod nod nod

Thanks for that, buddy. Tune in next time for more valuable lessons from Little E on how to avoid having your picture taken.… Read more