Year: 2001

When Crichton and D’Argo return to Moya two days into a forced ten day vacation (because their bickering is driving everyone crazy), Crichton tries to convince Pilot that the situation really isn’t their fault and they should be allowed to stay. See, everyone was having a good time in this bar, and these two girls came on to Crichton and D’Argo, but it was just a ruse, because the next thing you know the two of them are waking up without their money and Crichton’s wearing women’s stockings. Another patron from the previous night’s partying shows up to tell them Chiana and Jool are in trouble, and takes them to this goofy alien whose tentacles you can put up to your eye and it’s like a VR ViewFinder, and Crichton and D’Argo see this total sleazeball give Chiana a whiff of something, at which point she’s all over him, and that can’t be good. D’Argo heads to the sleazeball’s pad to get the girls, but they’re having way too good a time to scram. Only problem is, shortly after D’Argo gets his butt kicked out of the place, sleazeball hooks Jool and Chiana up to a machine that extracts their bodily fluids. Turns out those fluids are the source of freslin, the stuff sleazeball’s been using on the girls, and it has a bunch of freaky effects. Just for starters, their new friend uses it to turn D’Argo into a dancing machine and a totally weird looking alien. I mean, weird compared to his usual appearance. Like I said, this freslin’s freaky stuff. Long story short, Crichton and D’Argo have to get in and get the girls out. But when does anything ever go simply for these guys?

written by Lily Taylor
directed by Tony Tilse
music by Guy Gross

Guest Cast: Tammy MacIntosh (Jool), Francesca Buller (Raxil), Tamblyn Lord (Fe’Tor), Laura Keneally (Theiadh), Anthony Martin (Mitols), Milan Keyser (Sarl), Jaye Paul (Heska Tinaco), Julia Trappe (Blue Girl), Rachel Sheriff (Green Girl)

LogBook entry by Dave Thomer

Crichton gets a feeling that the Ancients are trying to contact him again, and guides Talyn to a rendezvous point. The alien that appeared to him in his father’s form materializes inside the ship, once more in the guise of Jack Crichton. He’s not happy, and wastes no time in pulling John into a telepathic exchange. The Ancients have found a safe homeworld. Jack, however, has chosen to stay behind to guard the others’ way, at which point he saw an alien in what looks like Crichton’s module flying out of a wormhole. Jack accuses Crichton of betraying the Ancients’ trust and letting wormhole technology fall into the wrong hands. But Crichton insists he knows nothing about it. Harvey (the Scorpius clone) takes a moment to remind Crichton not to let Jack know of his presence, and suggests that the guilty party is likely Furlow, the technician who helped Crichton repair his module after one of Crichton’s earlier wormhole experiments. Talyn sets course for Dam-Ba-Da, only to find it almost totally desolate. Crichton, Jack, Aeryn, Rygel and Crais head to the planet surface, where Furlow’s shop is under siege. They manage to get to the shop, but Talyn is exposed to the system’s intense solar flares and Crais is blinded as a result. Rygel mans a turret to defend the shop while Aeryn, Jack and Crichton enter to find that Furlow has been imprisoned and tortured by the Charrids, who want to use the wormhole tech she has developed based on Crichton’s notes as a weapon. They, along with the Scarrans, want Furlow’s tech, and when a Scarran dreadnought taps into Furlow’s computer to get the data, Jack says there’s only one solution – they must beat the Scarrans at their own game and build their own wormhole weapon, one that will destroy the dreadnought. But Jack can only do that with help from Crichton, by unlocking the wormhole knowledge in his subconscious. And that means that Harvey has to go . . . Crichton’s brain isn’t big enough for the two of them anymore.

written by Carleton Eastlake
directed by Peter Andrikidis
music by Guy Gross

Guest Cast: Kent McCord (Jack Crichton), Magda Szubanski (Furlow), Thomas Holesgrove (Alcar), Patrick Ward (Zylar)

Notes: The Ancient Crichton knows as Jack first appeared in season 1’s A Human Reaction. Furlow repaired Crichton’s module in that season’s Till The Blood Runs Clear, and in exchange Crichton provided her with schematics to the module and the data from his wormhole experiments to that point.

LogBook entry by Dave Thomer

Harvey appears to have won the battle for control of Crichton’s body. Aeryn reluctantly prepares to shoot him when Jack intervenes – the clone is in control for a moment, but it’s a last, dying gasp. Crichton is free, and he quickly grasps the wormhole information flooding his mind. An advance Scarran scout boards Talyn and demands that Stark instruct the ship to prepare a neural interface that will let it take control; Stark and a recovering Crais plot to eliminate this threat. Furlow turns on the others, killing Jack and planning to sell the tech to the Scarrans, including the new wormhole weapon. Crichton and Aeryn chase her through the desert. Crichton eventually overtakes Furlow; during their fight the weapon is tossed from her vehicle, where the weapon’s power supply is exposed. Furlow once more urges Crichton to run away with her, where they can profitably exploit their knowledge. But Crichton knows the Scarrans are coming. He has to get the weapon aboard the copy of his module and into space – even if it means exposing himself to the weapon’s massive radiation.

written by Carleton Eastlake
directed by Ian Watson
music by Guy Gross

Guest Cast: Kent McCord (Jack Crichton), Magda Szubanski (Furlow), Thomas Holesgrove (Alcar), Noel Hodda (Charrid Leader 2)

LogBook entry by Dave Thomer

D’Argo demonstrates the progress he’s made with his vessel to Crichton, when something goes wrong. Blaming Crichton for interfering, he pushes Crichton against a stack of containers; the containers come crashing down on him, knocking him out and causing a dangerous level of internal bleeding. The crew can’t entirely focus on his problems, however – whatever happened to D’Argo’s ship, it’s getting ready to self-destruct, and Moya’s circuits are so fried she can’t eject the ship safely. An enraged D’Argo tosses his blade into the ship’s depths. Pilot and Moya suggest that the crew hide in one of the farther chambers, where they might be able to survive for a few days, but the crew want to try and find a way to save the ship. Harvey, meanwhile, wants Crichton to save himself – and the clone – by focusing on his need to take revenge against D’Argo. Crichton doesn’t want to go that route, but he needs to find some solution to his problem, something that will help him muster the will to fight his way back to consciousness. He begins an animated internal dialogue with D’Argo, trying just about every trick he can think of. Jool confesses to D’Argo that she may actually be responsible for the ship’s problems; she decided to investigate it in hopes they’d have something to talk about. That actually helps D’Argo’s mood somewhat, but he’s still a bit snappish when Chiana gets under his skin – fortunately so, because his cursing in his mother tongue sets off the ship’s voice recognition systems. It’s an ancient Luxan ship, and the self destruct can be stopped by one of three ancient Luxan items – including a blade.

written by David Kemper
directed by Andrew Prowse
music by Guy Gross

Guest Cast: Tammy MacIntosh (Jool)

Notes: The internal dialogue between Crichton and D’Argo is often literally animated, as a cartoon D’Argo chases a ‘toon Crichton in a send-up of Road Runner cartoons while a pen-and-ink Aeryn makes a brief homage to Who Framed Roger Rabbit? The soundtrack to this episode, complete with merry melodies from series composer Guy Gross, is available in a limited edition CD.

LogBook entry by Dave Thomer

Aeryn has locked herself away on a planet of supposed spiritualists, drowning in grief for the deceased Crichton and hoping perhaps to contact his spirit, or the spirit of her father Talyn. In her dreams, she begins to have flashes of memory from the timeline in which she and Crichton grew old together on a world shrouded by time mists. While awake, she encounters a deformed creature claiming to be her father, and offering blood tests to prove it. Xhalax had allowed him to fake his death, the creature says. Perhaps now they can form a relationship. He offers to help her contact her lost loved one, and promises to bring her a seer. When Stark and Rygel come down to the planet to look for Aeryn, they discover that Xhalax is still alive. They accuse Crais of betrayal, and Crais says that he took the only option available – he spared Xhalax so that she would report that they were all dead, to prevent another retrieval squad from coming after them. All three try to warn Aeryn that her mother is alive – with good reason, as Xhalax is plotting with the creature to emotionally destroy Aeryn before killing her. But to a large degree, Aeryn is already emotionally dead, and she thinks she just might welcome someone finishing the job.

written by Justin Monjo
directed by Rowan Woods
music by Guy Gross

Guest Cast: Linda Cropper (Xhalax Sun), John Gregg (Talyn Lyczac), Stephen Shanahan (Tenek), Raj Ryan (Hotel Owner)

Notes: Stark leaves Talyn’s crew in this episode in order to accommodate Paul Goddard’s schedule on other projects.

LogBook entry by Dave Thomer

Moya receives a signal from Talyn to meet up. But at the rendezvous point, Moya doesn’t meet Talyn – instead it encounters a transport pod of escaped prisoners and a captured Peacekeeper tech. The prisoners had been used as test subjects for an experimental weapon when they escaped; in the escape, one of the prisoners dissolved into many pieces. Fortunately, this particular creature is able to reassemble and heal itself, with a little help. Meanwhile, the crew escorts the remaining prisoners. Chiana befriends a Nebari imprisoned for being an androgyn, or hermaphrodite; Rygel enjoys the charms of a Hynerian female, and D’Argo accompanies a mutilated Scarran. When Moya and Talyn do finally meet, Crichton eagerly greets the crew in the hangar. But the reunion turns sour when Aeryn can barely look at him and Crais explains that his counterpart is dead. Amongst the deceased Crichton’s personal effects is Stark’s mask, which contains a message for the living Crichton. But before he can receive it, the reunited crew must deal with the crisis at hand – one of the prisoners is betraying them all, sending signals to the Peacekeepers. And an increasingly prescient Chiana is sure that this will not end well for everyone.

written by Rockne S. O’Bannon
directed by Tony Tilse
music by Guy Gross

Guest Cast: Tammy MacIntosh (Jool), Kate Beehan (Hubero), Matt Doran (Markir Tal), Thomas Holesgrove (Naj Gil)

LogBook entry by Dave Thomer