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Funny Stuff Television & Movies

Asteroids: The Movie

AsteroidsThis is gonna rock. Ha! Get it? And no, I’m not joking – check out this item from the Hollywood Reporter

As opposed to today’s games, there is no story line or fancy world-building mythology, so the studio would be creating a plot from scratch. Universal, however, is used to that development process, as it’s in the middle of doing just that for several of the Hasbro board game properties it is translating to the big screen, such as “Battleship” and “Candyland.”

So, as long as there are asteroids in Asteroids, and someone is shooting at them, we’re golden. … Read more

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Television & Movies

Best line I’ve heard on TV tonight

From the second episode of this season of Law & Order UK, in a scene in which two police officers (a middle-aged officer and a younger one played by Jamie Bamber) are questioning two just-into-their-teens kids while moving a trampoline across one of the kids’ yard:

Older Cop (looking over his shoulder as he’s backing up): Is there anything behind me?

Kid: Yeah, your youth.

😆… Read more

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...And Little E Makes 3 Television & Movies

Snotty, I need those engines working

Scene cut from the new Star Trek movie: Spock doing jazz fingersI dragged little E to the pediatrician today, where we learned he’s got a garden-variety cold that’s being made that much more miserable by an ear infection. So no Trekking for me this weekend, barring some unusual incident where I’m able to step into an alternate timeline where the boy’s healthy enough to leave with his grandparents so we can go to a movie. 😛

While I’m waiting though, I wanted to give a hearty recommendation to a blog called My Star Trek Scrapbook, run by a fellow named Frederick who I’d swear is kind of like my slightly older self from an alternate timeline – think of him as Earl Prime, maybe: works in the media, has a love for Star Trek, and has occasionally-mentioned step-parent-from-hell issues. Anyone else a little bit spooked out by this yet? Anyway, his blog concentrates on news clippings, merchandise and other minutiae from the “lost years” between the original Star Trek’s syndicated success and the release of Star Trek: The Motion Picture. And even though there hasn’t quite been the ten-year wait between the last Trek to hit our screens and the latest movie, there are some definite similarities at play. His captions and mini-articles are a joy to read, and really recapture what it was like to be excited about Trek’s return in 1979, as well as what it was like to be a Trek fan during that strange period during which the show had never been more popular or more ingrained in pop culture, and yet wasn’t being currently produced. The merchandise is curiously barely-related to Trek – i.e. disc guns with a picture of Kirk and Spock on the box, and other curiosities from the age when reprints of the old Gold Key comics were manna from heaven. The current spate of Burger King ads with “the Kling” cheerfully put me in mind of this period of Trek history – the studio wasn’t being so precious about whether or not it was pissing off the entrenched fan base, and maybe that was a good thing. Frederick is one of the few random folks I’ve stumbled across on the ‘net where I think, after reading his blog for a bit, “Man, I’d like to meet this guy, because he sounds just like me.” If you have even the slightest interest in Star Trek, check his blog out. Be prepared to spend hours there gawking and stuff and going “Oh. My. God. I remember that!

I also wanted to give a shout-out to my friend Anthony, with whom I worked for many years in the teevee nooz trenches, and now has his own blog where he can be as opinionated as he likes without worrying about it violating some vaguely-worded clause in the employee handbook (like me, Anthony is also a refugee from the teevee nooz wars, and I think he’s discovering, as I’ve done over the past two years, that it’s nicer on the outside). His observations are funny as hell, and yet he can be pretty topical too, and doesn’t hew to either extreme of the political spectrum. It’s refreshing, funny, and makes you think too. Not bad reading at all.

Okay, that’s all the plugging-other-people’s-blogs I’ll do for now – I’m just gonna sit here and cry in my Dr. Pepper, which is swirling slowly in a plastic Star Trek cup from Burger King which, for the record, I plan to display next to my vintage 1979 Star Trek: The Motion Picture happy meals.

In the meantime, I’m preparing for a gap of – in all likelihood – weeks before I get to see the movie, because I’m also developing a runny nose and a scratchy throat since little E is wallowing all over me – he wants me to hold him, or hold his hand, or let him sit in my lap. I’m sure I’m getting quite an exposure to what he’s got, and I have a feeling that all the Zicam I’m talking isn’t going to make a dent in that. Maybe we need to page Dr. McCoy…… Read more

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Funny Stuff Television & Movies ToyBox

The Hedgerow Of Fear

I hang out over on doctorwhoforum.com quite a bit, and a good deal of that time is spent not gleaning spoilers and vague hints about upcoming episodes, but instead in the toy collecting & customizing subforum (aka the Celestial Toyroom). I don’t have nearly the budget that I used to for the ol’ action figure shelf (and yet I realize that I have more of a budget than some folks do), but I love hanging around there and seeing other people’s vast collections, and marveling at the custom jobs that others cook up either from scratch, or by sanding down, resculpting and repainting existing figures (hey, all those action figures from “Primeval” have to be good for something!). The amount of talent and manual dexterity on display by the customizers floors me. I wish I could do that sort of stuff. But by golly, I can at least offer a laugh to the ones who do. Forum member “morethanatimelord” posted some color and B&W photos of his new, made-from-scratch model TARDIS, scaled to match the 12″ figures (think old-school ’70s G.I. Joe sized) – this thing is just beautiful. A few folks joked about it being photographed rather obviously in his yard and suggested a 1960s-style “Next episode” title…which I then obligingly added to one of his photos, along with some effects to suggest the scratchy “taken off the TV screen” photos that were so common back in the day.

Next time on Doctor Who...

Fortunately, “morethanatimelord” has a sense of humor and we’re already plotting future joint ventures to knock the sheen of seriousness off of the forums. Suits me fine – there can never be too many photos of that beautifully-crafted model. Good times!… Read more

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Gadgetology Gaming Home Base Music Television & Movies ToyBox

Ramblement

No particular focus for tonight’s entry, so you’ll just have to keep up.

I guess we can do a Red Dwarf-style JCC reunion now. For months on Facebook, I’ve been looking for my friend Mark, with whom I hung out a great deal around the end of high school and a few years afterward; I remember he singlehandedly helped me move all of the heavy furniture into my Garrison Avenue apartment in late ’94 or so. He was also part of the surreal, please-tell-me-you-guys-were-high-when-you-did-this video experiment called Jump Cut City, a.k.a. JCC (a new and improved mini-site for which is horrendously overdue; until then, this’ll have to make do). About the time that I made the horrendous mistake of letting myself get bumped up to a salaried position at Fox 46 (translation: every moment of your life was now owned by the station), I dropped out of contact with a lot of people. Mark’s one of the ones I regret losing touch with the most, and tonight I was lamenting the fact that I couldn’t find him online anywhere.

My wife asked, “Have you tried the phone book?” And maybe this is a testament to the pathetically enormous amount of time I spent on the internets, but I had to admit that no, I hadn’t thought of that. Turns out she also knew him at around the same time – she was working at a comic book store that he frequented. She was eager to call him right then and there because, she reasoned, surely his head would explode at the very thought that two of the strangest people he’d ever known, two people he’d never really associated with each other, had gotten married and produced offspring who would carry our very strange genes forward.

So out of the blue we called him, and made his Saturday night more surreal. It’s been at least 15 years since I talked to him, and he sounded exactly the same. There’s much lost time to make up for, and I’m sure there are a lot of laugh-until-whatever-you’re-drinking-is-ejected-nasally moments ahead too, because there’s definitely a get-together in the works. But man, do I feel stupid – look in the phone book? Surely we have the technology to move beyond the phone book.

Slipped (mini)disc. For years, I’ve stubbornly stuck by my minidisc player instead of joining Generation iPod. Partly because it appeals to my curmudgeonly retro-tech side (Atari is to iPod as Odyssey2 is to minidisc), and partly because…well…it still works, why replace it? My wife and I have, between us, two Hi-MD players (which hold a gob of stuff on a single disc – for example, about two dozen full-length Doctor Who audios) and one NetMD player (which holds approx. 5 hours of stuff on a single disc). The great thing about these is that you can build up as many discs full of stuff as you like and swap them out on a whim: no “uh-oh, stop the world, I’ve gotta go back to the PC to put stuff on here.” Of course, there’s a lot of “upload stuff to the machine” time up-front, but before a lengthy two-way solo road trip to, say, a neighboring state’s capitol, that whole swapping-discs ability is awfully handy.

The weak link in the minidisc chain, however, is the software required to load stuff from your PC onto your MD: a horrific C++ monstrosity called SonicStage which crashes at the drop of a hat. Worse yet, when it gets into a “crashing spree,” there’s a better than even chance that it’ll corrupt the table of contents file on the disc and force you to start from scratch. I tend to leave some stuff on my music MD for months; as you delete and add things, the oldest items slide to the top of the TOC (hint: the top entries on my music MD’s TOC have involved members of the Finn family for many months). Having to rebuild the whole damned disc gets a wee bit old. I’m not a huge iTunes fan, but so help me, SonicStage may yet be the defining factor that gets me to become a Pod Person. I should be sitting up at one in the morning, thinking “Yay, it’s finally working!” and blogging while transferring months worth of tracks over to a freshly-formatted disc. Ugh.

And speaking of long drives through Oklahoma… …I’d say we now have an official “stay tuned” on the subject of OVGE (the major Tulsa-based video gaming convention) for later this year. I have no idea when or where or how big or how small, but all I have to say is…count me in. I’m already being asked if I want to exhibit at shows like CCAG and Video Game Summit this summer, and I’m going to go out on a limb and say that there’s no way I can make it in person. I’ll try to line up some way for the CGE DVDs and the old and new PDF DVDs to be there if there’s already an exhibitor I know and trust there, but the problem there is that I’m actually running a little tight on inventory – I have to make sure, in sending stuff out for non-local shows, that I’m not hindering my ability to fill online orders, and PDF Level 2 and the Brown Box have suddenly been moving fairly well thanks to mentions on a number of sites I hadn’t even sent the press release to! Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised – and maybe I shouldn’t admit to being surprised – but I had no idea that the project registered on that many people’s radars. I’m still quietly wondering if there’s not another application just waiting to happen with the same basic format as the PDF DVDs; what it could possibly be, I don’t know. I’m open to suggestions. In the meantime, I’m also open to the next OVGE show – no way am I missing it a second year in a row. OEGE energized me to get back into the swing of things for the first time in a year, and now I’m ready for a show where I don’t have nearly 20 years on the average attendee. 😆

Bea Arthur...IN SPACEGood night, but not goodbye. I’d be remiss if I didn’t include at least a passing mention of the passing of Bea Arthur (see what I did there? I didn’t actually mean to do that there, but…eh, let’s move on). Long before the Golden Girls, she was Maude. I probably first saw her on the Mary Tyler Moore Show as a wee lad, but I don’t remember it; the first thing I saw her in that left a mark – more of a painful welt, really – was in the utterly bizarre cantina “sketch” of the much-maligned, aired-only-once Star Wars Holiday Special. I generally don’t crap all over that legendary show the way most folks do – in fact, I have a soft spot for it just for its sheer surreal-ness – but man, the portion of that special that featured Ms. Arthur was off-the-scale awkward. Imagine, if you will, a musical number set in the Star Wars cantina, lamenting how sad it is that the bar is closing, in a family-viewing-hour special based on a movie that’s incredibly popular with kids. Add to that the “life under the Gestapo” underpinning of the whole scene (the bar is closing because of an Empire-imposed curfew), and poor Bea had the dubious honor of singing and dancing her way through an “oh my God, did they really just do that?” segment of a show that was already strange enough. But she was a trouper about it – and for that, my hat’s off to her. A true talent who, for her trouble, really should’ve been made into an action figure, because whatever she was paid for appearing in that special, it wasn’t enough. Hey, that reminds me…

Torchwoody. Maybe an unfortunate pun there, but for the Doctor Who-and-related toy collectors out there, scificollector.co.uk popped a surprise announcement that they’re making a limited advanced run – 1,000 of each! – of the wave 2 Ianto and Captain John figures available now. They’re in different packaging than the “wide release” wave 2 figures will be, but the figures are actually the same. When released in June or July – painfully close to the San Diego Comic Con Doctor Who exclusives – the second wave of Torchwood figures will include Ianto, Captain John, Toshiko and the goofy business-suited Blowfish character (the one who stopped his sports car long enough to let an old lady cross the street in the first episode of season two; why this character was deemed more worthy of a figure than Owen, I can’t even begin to speculate).

OK, I warned you this blog post would be disjointed; I’m gonna bip it in the nuds now before it gets downright surreal.… Read more

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Television & Movies

So said we all?

Coin detected in pocket...So…that’s it. I’ll be as non-spoilery with my thoughts as possible.

I got a chuckle out of Ron Moore’s cameo (reading the magazine article toward the end).

For what it’s worth, the ratio of what was paid off and tied up vs. what was left open ended did not displease me. This was a conclusion that did not leave me so disappointed that I got pissed off at the entire run of the show for wasting countless hours of my life (i.e. Voyager, Enterprise).

The people who complained about the Shadow War wrapping up a few episodes into season 4 of B5? I’m sure they’ll launch an all-out bitchfest about this one. There’s no shortage of action, but the writers did not neglect our need for closure either. Anyone who expected the entire show to end with pyrotechnics (A) will be disappointed, and (B) didn’t know this show very well.

Overall…a satisfying ending…and a welcome one. Galactica’s been exhausting to watch. I noticed, in the Big Frakking Special, that there was a lot of interview time given over to the question “How dark is too dark?” Galactica went too dark a few times for my tastes…and way too dark a few other times.

But I think, for at least a few decades if not longer, we’re going to see this Galactica put on a pedestal, and not entirely unjustly. Entertainment Weekly said it best a few weeks or months ago when their reviewers decided that Galactica, even more than 24, was the one popular entertainment that really captured the zeitgeist of this decade better than anything else. And sure, to some extent, that’ll date it down the road. I mean, it’s not like, 40+ years on, we’re talking about a TV sci-fi show that captured the zeitgeist of the sixties, because what relevance would that have to anything going on now…?

Oh. Yeah. Wait. Cancel that. I think Galactica’s importance on the TV landscape is pretty secure. 😛

But what about its entertainment value? There’s the real iffy thing. Often thought-provoking, I found Galactica simply too dark in a few places to be truly entertaining. As Evan became mobile, and aware of the idiot box, Galactica became a thing to avoid – a thing to download and watch later, in the dead of night after the boy was asleep. I’ve talked to some of my friends with young ones who are in the same boat. And here recently I’ve struggled to be in a mood to watch it at all.

I’ll probably be sitting out Caprica altogether; maybe I’ll check out the upcoming early-release DVD of the pilot, and make my decision then. But as demanding and exhausting as Galacitca has been…I’m not sure I’m up for more of that. At this rate, I’ll be doing good to stick with Lost until the end. I’m ready for a little more escapism in my diet – and the revised-Galacticas and Losts of future TV seasons will probably have to do without me for a while.… Read more

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Funny Stuff Television & Movies

Wow! Normally they just arrest some shirtless redneck.

Boxleitner barfs lightning!OK, a funny story from my early days in TV, before I get Babylon 5 off my brain again.

My first TV job was technically “board operator” at the local Fox station (which isn’t even the local Fox station anymore). When I started, everything was switched live, and commercial breaks were a nerve-wracking rapid-fire Chinese fire drill of tape swapping. Somewhere in there, two things happened to bring a little bit of sanity to the proceedings: it was decided that the local breaks for network programming should be done from pre-built reels, and then at a later date, the station purchased a computer-based system for running spots, and an automation system to go with it. The two were even connected – you’d program the automation to take the local breaks and it would autofire that computer. Wow! I’m sure the resolution and storage capacity of that setup would be laughable now, but back then it was right out of the future.

Local programming, however, was still “built” – i.e. the appropriate commercials were literally insert-edited (or at least they were supposed to be) onto the tapes in question. Let’s say you had an episode of Love Connection; in the gaps left for local breaks, you’d insert-edit the local commercials on the log, one at a time; this was called “building” the show, and it was done at a little edit bay in the back of the control room. You were supposed to be building shows in between commercial breaks.

Now this, of course, was the first step down the road to disaster. The computer system had a “playlist” loaded into it for each broadcast day. If you were “building” shows during prime time, which often happened if the previous shift didn’t get it in gear, you had to walk a tightrope – moving the computer system forward so it could insert commercials into the show you were building, but you had to be done with that procedure, and have the playlist moved back to the right place, so the automation system could catch the next break in real time. If you didn’t stay sharp, the automation system would fire the wrong break from the wrong show (and that break probably wouldn’t time out the same as the break it was supposed to be running – i.e. coming up 30 seconds short), or…it could be even worse. Since the computer spot system ran through that edit bay, technically, what the automation system switched to in order to play spots wasn’t another A/V output from that computer…it would switch to the output of that edit bay. If you were checking or building a show when the automation fired a break, nobody would see commercials: they’d see you screwing around with the tape.

Are you with me? Because here’s where it goes horrendously wrong. Imagine you’ve got some nutty board operator in his early 20s who’s gotten far enough ahead on building his shows that he’s going to kick back during prime time and do a little bit of unauthorized editing – to the tune of making a dub of the latest fresh-off-the-satellite episode of Babylon 5 without the commercials in it, to be dubbed to VHS for his own private collection. Who this person could be, I’ve no idea. He might even be a theoretical person who doesn’t actually exist. (If this entirely hypothetical individual had known that such things as “DVD box sets” of entire seasons of TV shows were only a few years away, maybe he wouldn’t have bothered.)

So here’s the disaster: at the appointed moment in prime time one Saturday night, the automation system will send its signal to the computer to play a commercial break, and simultaneously switch to the output of that edit bay. But that edit bay will be otherwise “occupied” doing something that, let’s face it, it isn’t really supposed to be doing. A tape will be running, so the commercials won’t be seen – at least not for a moment until the horrible truth sinks in for our hypothetical board op.

(Let me just take a moment to point out that, really, this Rube Goldberg setup where the entire edit bay had to idle to run commercials was one of the lousiest jobs of wiring I’ve ever seen. My room at home is set up better than that. This was just a bit…well…lazy.)

Here’s how the train wreck all comes home. The show in prime time is Fox’s own Old Faithful of reality shows, Cops. The show segment is coming to an end with the gruff announcer talking about what’ll be happening in the next segment. Then the automation, which has been correctly programmed, triggers its break at precisely the right time, right after the announcer says “When COPS returns!”…

…and then the automated switcher jumps to the edit bay, and instead of commercials, gets the following Delenn quote from In The Shadow Of Z’ha’dum: BILLIONS WILL DIE!”

Whoever this hypothetical board op was, I don’t think he ever managed to hit a stop button so fast in his life. Still, the local sponsors had to be impressed – that was quite a tease for a lousy episode of Cops!

At some point, I think it was decided that the hypothetical board op was safer working at an edit bay in the back of the building, putting together promos and stuff. Quite right, too. Probably never worked in TV again after that. 😉… Read more

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Television & Movies

Lost Tales and found appreciation

Babylon 5For some reason – maybe a bit of boredom, admittedly – I watched Babylon 5: The Lost Tales for what has to be…well…frankly…the second time. For some reason I’ve just had B5 on the brain lately, and for some reason it’s been bugging me that I’ve seen, to pull an example out of nowhere, The Fall Of Night probably 20-30 times. I watched The Lost Tales once, on the day I bought it, and I was so put off by what I saw that I never went back for seconds until now. … Read more