Meet Explorer Earl
Okay, I only thought this stuff was buried under a mile of soft peat somewhere.
Sometime in 1994, at the first TV station where I worked, I got shanghaied into being on-air talent during kids’ programming. Our kids’ club talent had just left, and there was a perfect storm brewing:
- The Humane Society did pet-of-the-week spots in our kids’ programming, which helped the station to fulfill its “local public service” quota. Those spots now had no host.
- The station had just gotten a pith helmet in a National Geographic promo kit.
- I was already on the payroll.
With no contract, no additional pay, and no perks, I was suddenly… Explorer Earl. … Read more

Sat back, obeyed the rules and did nothing as Mrs. G and Little E fished in the mon & son fishing tournament at Carol Ann Cross Park. No fish were caught by this family on this day. Man, I wanted to jump in there and help… but the rules specifically forbade it. I just had to sit back and shut up. Now I’m jonesing to go fish rainbow trout on the White River. Just me, a boat, a rod, a reel, some bait, some lures, a hat big enough to keep the sun out of my eyes, some tunes, absolutely no cell phone signal whatsoever, no wi-fi, no nothing. If you don’t hear from me in a few days, I’m probably sleeping with the fishes. In a good way.
As if that wasn’t enough to draw a crowd, among the crowd were two big, friendly stray pit bulls roaming around in front of the library. I stopped and petted them for a bit until they moved on, mainly to keep them from freaking folks out. Since Xena and Gabby were crashed when we all left at the crack of dawn, these two were the friendliest dogs I saw all morning. They had very obvious dogfighting injuries, and yet they were all over me, stinky-breath dog kisses and all.
Got soaked in pit bull slobber right before walking in for the library book sale. Also, next stop after the book sale was my niece’s birthday party at Fuji Steakhouse. Woohoo! Uncle Earl showed up smelling like pit bull slobber! Happy birthday! 😆
One of my fellow board ops at the Fox station was a rather striking redhead who announced, out of the blue, that she was running off to get married. I was disappointed, but for once, not primarily because she was giving us virtually no notice and leaving me stuck with a double shift. I was about to lose my evening shift eye candy. To be fair, we were pretty good friends, but as with so many pretty good female friends, I just never worked up the nerve to go any further than that. I was living on my own and in desperate need of friends; I was paranoid about trying to push beyond that and losing the friendship in the process. I never felt like I had enough to offer to making being “more than friends” worthwhile.


… 
