Back In The Red Part I

Red DwarfStarbug has returned home to Red Dwarf, but somehow it’s just not the same Red Dwarf. Now, setting aside for the moment the fact that Red Dwarf is far too large and then begins shrinking, and setting aside a rather unpleasant incident involving mammoth rodentia, the real problem with the nanobot-reconstructed Red Dwarf is its crew. They’re perfectly alive and well, and really don’t seem to appreciate Lister and Kochanski – along with a couple of unknown stowaways – crashing a Starbug through their ship. The ship’s psychiatrist tries to psychoanalyze Kryten, only to be baffled by the revelation that Kryten is, technically, from his future.

Lister is imprisoned and quickly finds that Rimmer is still alive aboard this Red Dwarf too. Not the more seasoned Rimmer who recently left to become Ace, but the overzealous, trumped-up, incompetent vending machine repairman with a Napoleon complex…the Rimmer of old. (Granted, the above could serve as a description of Rimmer at any time, but let’s not dwell on that.) Lister’s only hope of proving his story – that Red Dwarf is, in fact, over three million years away from home, and that its crew has been mechanically recreated – is to trust Rimmer to bring the evidence to Captain Hollister. Unfortunately, that evidence includes the sexual magnetism virus, which Rimmer decides to try for himself.

So much for Lister’s defense…

Season 8 Regular Cast: Chris Barrie (Rimmer), Craig Charles (Lister), Chloe Annett (Kochanski), Danny John-Jules (Cat), Robert Llewellyn (Kryten), Norman Lovett (Holly)

Order the DVDswritten by Doug Naylor
directed by Ed Bye
music by Howard Goodall

Guest Cast: Paul Bradley (Chen), David Gillespie (Selby), Mac McDonald (Captain Hollister)

LogBook entry by Earl Green

Back In The Red Part II

Red DwarfThings are not going well for Lister and his friends. Kryten has been sentenced to be completely rebooted back to his original personality parameters, and the others are due to stand before a board of inquiry for crashing a Starbug into the ship. Worse yet, Lister has entrusted Rimmer with helping them escape or bringing evidence of the nanobots to the captain’s attention. However, Rimmer has no time to do either since he’s spending all of his time enjoying the sexual magnetism virus. Cat, Kochanski and Lister barely escape being recaptured (thanks to Lister’s use of the luck virus), and are soon on their way to freedom…so long as nothing goes wrong with their plan. But they haven’t counted on Rimmer’s need to keep the source of his secrets…well, secret.

Order the DVDswritten by Doug Naylor
directed by Ed Bye
music by Howard Goodall

Guest Cast: Mac McDonald (Captain Hollister), Kira Mirylles (Doc Newton), Jemma Churchill (First woman officer), Andy Taylor (Dr. MacLaren), Sue Keeryn (Second woman officer), Karl Glenn Stimpson (MP Thornton), Guenevere Swallow (Third woman officer), Geoffrey Beevers (Doctor)

LogBook entry by Earl Green

Back In The Red Part III

Red DwarfThings go from bad to worse as Lister, Kryten, Cat and Kochanski manage to get to a Blue Midget shuttle and escape – but in reality, they’re in an AR machine under the watchful eye of Captain Hollister and the “new” Red Dwarf’s Holly. But by monitoring their actions in artificial reality, Hollister does discover that their story about nanobots must be true – but they’re also desperate enough to steal a shuttle and leave on their own. Proving that the only consistent thing is their luck, Lister, Rimmer and the others are sentenced to serve time in Red Dwarf’s top-secret, well-populated prison floor.

Order the DVDswritten by Doug Naylor
directed by Ed Bye
music by Howard Goodall

Guest Cast: Mac McDonald (Captain Hollister), Graham McTavish (Ackerman), Yasmin Bannerman (First ground controller), Jeillo Lennards (Second ground controller), Karl Glenn Stimpson (MP Thornton)

LogBook entry by Earl Green

Cassandra

Red DwarfLister signs himself and his friends up for Canary duty, an elite corps of prisoners who tackle the dangerous task of being the first members of Red Dwarf’s crew to visit inhospitable an unknown environments, determining whether or not it’s safe for more valuable and irreplaceable crew members (i.e. the automatic robotic mining equipment) to make planetfall. Their first assignment, to board a long-lost Space Corps vessel discovered in a nearby planet’s ocean, proves to Lister that he didn’t sign up for a singing group. The derelict ship’s only inhabitant is a computer called Cassandra with infallible powers of foresight. This otherwise useful power proves to be a massive pain in the ass when Cassandra predicts that at least one of them will soon die.

Order the DVDswritten by Doug Naylor
directed by Ed Bye
music by Howard Goodall

Guest Cast: Geraldine McEwan (Cassandra), Graham McTavish (Ackerman), Jake Wood (Kill Crazy), Shend (Warden Knot), Ian Soundry (Guard)

LogBook entry by Earl Green

Krytie TV

Red DwarfSince entertainment is hard to come by in the prison block, Lister is understandably overjoyed when Petersen mails his guitar to him – but due to prison regs involving suicides, the strings have been confiscated, somewhat limited Lister’s repertoire (but not by much). In lieu of that, it’s another night at the prison theater, whose usual diet of bad movies is interrupted by Kryten, initiating a live broadcast from the female prisoners’ shower room. Lister is at first appalled, and then rather fascinated, by this invasion of Kochanski’s privacy. But what he doesn’t know is that he is the next star of Kryten’s embarassing broadcast…

Order the DVDswritten by Doug Naylor & Paul Alexander
directed by Ed Bye
music by Howard Goodall

Guest Cast: Jake Wood (Kill Crazy), Graham McTavish (Ackerman), Mark Caven (Man in film), Sarah Wateridge (Woman in film), Clifford Barry (Guard)

LogBook entry by Earl Green

Pete Part I

Red DwarfCaptain Hollister sentences Lister and Rimmer to play basketball against the prison guards to punish them for playing a practical joke on Ackerman. However, impishly improvising once again, Lister and his friends make a surprise comeback and win the game, landing them in trouble yet again. Meanwhile, on a mission with the Canaries, Kryten and Kochanski discover a time wand, capable of slowing down, speeding up, or suspending time in small pockets – and smuggle it back aboard Red Dwarf so they can speed up time for the rest of the ship and be released from their prison sentences. Lister and Rimmer escape from the grimmest part of the ship’s prison, along with a nut case who prizes his sole possession, a sparrow named Pete. But the shock of freedom kills Pete. Lister convinces Kryten to use the time wand to revert Pete to his youth, but a slight miscalculation sends Pete millions of year backward on the evolutionary scale, transforming him into a rather hungry dinosaur.

Order the DVDswritten by Doug Naylor
directed by Ed Bye
music by Howard Goodall

Guest Cast: Mac MacDonald (Captain Hollister), Graham McTavish (Ackerman), Andrew Alston (Max), Holly Earl (young Kochanski), Perri Nichael (young Cat), Ricky Glover (Baxter), Ian Masters (Birdman), Shend (Warden Knot)

LogBook entry by Earl Green

Pete Part II

Red DwarfKryten throws the time wand to Bob the Skutter, who is promptly swallowed by the enormous dinosaur that was once known as Pete. In a vain attempt to get the creature to cough up the time wand, Lister and the others cook up a dinosaur-sized vindaloo, complete with a live cow, to upset Pete’s enormous stomach. This it does too well, however, returning the time wand when it gets sick after eating half the food supply on Red Dwarf. Hollister now sentences Lister and Rimmer to turn Pete back into a sparrow at any cost.

Order the DVDswritten by Doug Naylor and Paul Alexander
directed by Ed Bye
music by Howard Goodall

Guest Cast: Mac MacDonald (Captain Hollister), Jake Wood (Kill Crazy), Ricky Glover (Baxter), Ian Masters (Birdman)

LogBook entry by Earl Green

Only The Good…

Red DwarfRed Dwarf rescues a life pod with a sole survivor and an unwelcome visitor – a shapeshifting, corrosive microscopic life form which begins eating away at the ship, though no one realizes this just yet. After Lister tricks him into embarassing Kochanski, Kryten vows revenge, planting a fellow prisoner’s secret stash of home-brewed booze in Lister and Rimmer’s cell. But that prisoner’s response – basically a death threat – requires a new escape attempt. En route to steal a ship, they see the corroded life pod, and Lister decides that Captain Hollister must be informed of the imminent danger. Hollister rewards the prisoners by thanking them for giving Red Dwarf’s officers and crew time to escape…and then announces that all prisoners will be left behind to die.

Order the DVDswritten by Doug Naylor
directed by Ed Bye
music by Howard Goodall

Guest Cast: Mac MacDonald (Captain Hollister), Graham McTavish (Ackerman), Heidi Monsen (Talia), Tony Slattery (Dispensing Machine), Ricky Glover (Baxter), David Verrey (Big Meat)

Original title: Every Dog…

LogBook entry by Earl Green