ELO.biz, which has been in a holding pattern for years and years, has finally launched. (You guys know I’m an ELO fan, right?) The reason everyone’s been waiting on this is that it’s supposedly been something that Jeff Lynne himself has had in the works for a dog’s age. Actually, more like a dog’s ice age – the domain has been parked since shortly after Zoom was released, for cryin’ out loud.
And the result?
Well… hmph. Not what I was expecting. I initially swooned over the T-shirts shown on the front page of the site, only to be incredibly disappointed to find out that the shirts for sale look nothing like them. (Not like I can afford to plunk down $25 for a shirt, mind you, but I’m just sayin’.) The shirts come in the most godawful ugly colors, and the patterns printed on them – the iconic album cover art that I’d love to be sporting across my midsection in bright, bold colors to unapologetically announce that I’m a lifelong ELO geek – is “distressed.” As in “crappy transfers, but hey, we’re gonna pretend these are, like, new vintage clothes or something. Dude.” The only one I’d consider getting out of the selection available would be the early ’70s-era “lightbulb logo”, and I’d rather it looked brand new, not 40 years old like the albums/tours that used that design. I’d love the A New World Record / Wurlitzer logo shirt to not be piss yellow, y’know? And let’s dance the real waltz here: if they were going after vintage authenticity, they’d do decent transfers, but make the shirts “ringer” t-shirts. Like people actually wore back when ELO was hot property.
Color me (ha!) disappointed. Or, as the site describes its t-shirts, “distressed.”
Thanks to Lynn Hoskins of the ELO Showdown mailing list for the heads-up. You can find out more about that list – which is infinitely more engaging than ELO.biz, fortunately – here.