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Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)
Review by Earl
Green

Time-lagged super-spy Austin Powers is astonished to discover that his
beautiful bride is, in fact, one of Dr. Evil's fem-bots. And that isn't the
only trick up the evil genius' sleeve - he has constructed a time machine so
he can travel back to the late 60s, steal Austin's mojo, and place an
enormous laser on the moon which will put the entire world in his command,
under threat of a powerful blast from orbit. (Why he couldn't simply do
this in 1999 is...well...a matter for another movie.) Austin must also
return to the 60s, recover his mojo, and stop Dr. Evil and the diabolically
diminutive Mini-Me from taking over the world (and if the opportunity
presents itself for a quick round of shagging, Austin won't hesitate to do
that either).

Last month, I waxed rhapsodic about the uneven Pleasantville, asking myself if it was a brilliant
chunk of celluloid or if it was a big mess. No such quandary with Austin
Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. This film is a big mess - a very funny
mess at times, but still a mess.
I'll confess up front that I passed on the first Austin Powers flick, as
Mike Myers just really isn't my cup of tea. But after a number of friends
recommended it to me as the funniest thing they'd seen in 1999 (obviously,
they hadn't seen Bowfinger), I splurged
and got the DVD.
Mike Myers' over-the-top performance is charming in a lot of places, and
it has to be in order to carry the whole movie along. The script, though it
has its moments, is thinner than the paper on which it was printed. The
real highlight of the movie is Dr. Evil and his secret plot to use a giant
laser - dubbed "the Alan Parsons Project" (just one of many throwaway
jokes about which a great deal of noise is made, in direct proportion to how
funny the joke actually is). The bizarre dynamics of the bad guys is incredibly
amusing, so much more so than the protagonists. The honest truth is that
Michael York is the funniest of our heroes, mainly because this is just
about the last movie in which one would expect him to be involved. Heather
Graham got a lot of buzz from this movie, but she was much better in
Bowfinger.
There's barely a plot to the whole thing, so the main question is: is it
funny? Well...sort of. Almost. In places...not at all. For example, the
basic premise that Austin would accidentally drink Fat Bastard's stool
sample is amusing (disgusting, yes, but still funny), but the gag-inducing
gag is drawn out for such a long time, with such an obvious conclusion, that
it loses more belly-laugh potential with each passing second. Now, had
Austin taken a swig of the "tea" and then proclaimed that it
tasted like shit...that would've been funny. Still very sophomoric and
predictable humor, but the impact of the moment would have compensated for it a
little. Several potentially hilarious jokes are ruined in a similar fashion
throughout the movie.
There are two scenes that keep me in stitches every time, though: a pair
of montages in which Clint Howard, as a NORAD operator tracking Dr. Evil's
strangely phallic escape rocket, sets off a chain reaction of various short
scenes and cameo appearances in which almost every possible colloquialism
for the male reproductive organ is exhausted. While it's still pretty
juvenile humor, it still gets a big laugh out of me every time.
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me - hopefully the spy
spoof's stopping point rather than the jumping-off point for a new franchise -
is good for a laugh if you've had a long day and your brain is already shut
down for the evening. Trust me, you won't need to use it to watch this one.

- screenplay by Mike Myers & Michael McCullers
- directed by Jay Roach
- music by George S. Clinton
- Cast:
Mike Myers (Austin Powers), Mike Myers (Dr. Evil), Mike Myers (Fat
Bastard), Heather Graham (Felicity Shagwell), Michael York (Basil
Exposition), Robert Wagner (Number Two), Rob Lowe (Young Number Two), Seth
Green (Scott Evil), Mindy Sterling (Frau Fabrissina), Verne J. Troyer
(Mini-Me), Elizabeth Hurley (Vanessa), Gia Carides (Robin Swallows), Oliver
Muirhead (British Colonel), George Kee Cheung (Chinese Teacher), Jeffrey
Meng (Chinese Student), Muse Watson (Klansman), Scott Cooper (Klansman's
son), Douglas Fisher (Man), Kevin Cooney (NORAD Colonel), Clint Howard
(Radar Operator Peters), Brian Brooks (Pilot), David Koechner (Co-pilot),
Frank Clem (Guitarist with Willie Nelson), Herb Mitchell (Sergeant), Steve
Eastin (Umpire), Jane Carr (Woman), Kevin Durand (Assassin), Melissa Justin
(Chick #2 at party), Nicholas Walker (Captain of the Guard), Steve Hibbert
(Guard at jail cell), David Coy, David Crigger, Tom Ehlen, Dennis Wilson
(Carnaby Street band), Eric Winzenreid (Private Army Soldier), Tim Bagley
(Friendly dad), Colton James (Friendly son), Mike Hagerty (Peanut vendor),
Jack Kehler (Circus barker), Kirk Ward (Soldier), Jeff Garlin (Cyclops),
Rachel Wilson (Woody's fan), Jennifer Coolidge (Woman at football game),
John Mahon (NATO Colonel), Michael McDonald (NATO soldier), Jeanette Miller
(Teacher), Mary Jo Smith (Unibrau), Carrie Ann Inara, Jennifer Hamilton,
Ayesha Orange, Natalie Willes (Felicity's dancers), John Corella, Alison
Waulk, Michelle Elkin, Shealan Spencer, Tovaris Wilson (Party dancers)
- Appearing as themselves: Burt Bacharach, Elvis Costello, Woody Harrelson,
Willie Nelson, Rebecca Romjin-Stamos, Jerry Springer



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