Three years after joining the Men in Black, Agent J is a hard-driving hunter of extraterrestrials with a habit of neuralyzing partners. When an alien named Serleena comes to Earth in search of a cosmically-powerful doo-dad, the Men in Black insist they sent it off world years ago. The only person who knows for sure, though, is J's first partner K, now retired and working as a postal inspector. So while Serleena kills a pizzeria-owning alien and takes over the MiB's headquarters, J de-neuralyzes K and the two set out to save the world once again.

It may seem I'm being a bit too flippant with the story summary above. Were I too be just slightly uncharitable, I'd say I spent more time thinking about that summary than the writers did on the script. The movie is almost absurdly short, and yet it has time to rack up an alarming number of plot holes and coincidences. In the end, that's not a huge deal - the first Men In Black had a pretty insubstantial plot, and I still enjoyed it based on the general cleverness of the conceit and the chemistry between Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones. The problem is, neither of those are in any great abundance here. The sequel sacrifices subtlety for bigger and better effects, and I'm not sure that was a smart move. Instead of one human-sized alien near the US-Mexico border, MiB II opens with a giant worm eating most of a New York subway train. The gag is amusing, but after it's over you just scratch your head and either pick it to death or forget about it.

As for Jones and Smith - the movie never quite figures out whether to reverse the dynamic of the first film, with the now-veteran J bringing K up to speed on what he's missed, or just repeat it, with the restored K lecturing J on how much he still needs to learn. By making them try to do both, the characters never settle into a groove, and ultimately that's what brings the movie down. In the end, save yourself some cash and just watch the original again - there's nothing new this time around.

• screenplay by Robert Gordon and Barry Fanaro
• story by Robert Gordon
  based on the comic book by Lowell Cunningham
• directed by Barry Sonnenfeld
• music by Danny Elfman
• Cast: Tommy Lee Jones (K), Will Smith (J), Rip Torn (Zed), Lara Flynn Boyle (Serleena), Johnny Knoxville (Scrad/Charlie), Rosario Dawson (Laura Vasquez), Tony Shalhoub (Jack Jeebs), Patrick Warburton (T), Jack Kehler (Ben), David Cross (Newton), Colombe Jacobsen (Hailey), Peter Spellos (Motorman), Michael Rivkin (Man with dog), Michael Bailey Smith (Creepy), Lenny Venito (New York guy), Howard Spiegel (New York guy), Alpheus Merchant (MIB guard), Jay Johnson (Agent), Joel McKinnon Miller (Agent), Derek Cecil (Repairman Agent), Sean Rouse (MIB agent), Peter Spruyt (MIB customs agent), Kevin Cotteleer (MIB customs agent), Marty Belafsky (MIB customs agent), Rick Baker (MIB passport control agent), Martha Stewart (herself), Michael Jackson (M), Sid Garza-Hillman (G), Tom Whitenight (C), Nick Cannon (MIB autopsy agent), Andre Blair (Central Park agent), Jeremy Howard (Bird guy alien/postal sorting agent), Mary Stein (Bird lady alien), Marty Klebba (Family child alien), John Alexander (Jarra/Family dad alien), Denise Cheshire (Family mom alien/Locker alien), Ernie Grunwald (Young postal employee), John Berton (Split alien guy), Doug Jones (Joey), Peter Graves (himself), Linda Kim (Ambassador Lauranna), Paige Brooks (Mysteries In History Lauranna), Stephanie Kemp (Neuralyzed Mother), Barry Sonnenfeld (Neuralyzed Father), Michael Garvey (Corn Face), Michael Dahlen (Flesh Balls), Kevin Grevioux (Pineal Eye), Derek Mears (Mosh Tendrils), Sonny Tipton (Dog Poop), John Richardson (Postman), Phillip Goodwin (Diner guy), Tim Blaney (voice of Frank the Pug), Greg Ballora (voice of Sleeble), Carl J. Johnson (voice of Gleeble), Thom Fountain (voice of Neeble), Brad Abrell (voice of Mannix), Richard Pearson (Gordy), Darrell Foster (Autopsy agent), Biz Markie (Rapping alien)