Psirens

Red DwarfLister awakens after 500 years of hibernation, finding himself aboard Starbug with Cat and Kryten. Rimmer is rebooted, and Kryten brings everyone up to speed on events. Red Dwarf has been hijacked by an unknown party while Lister and the others were on board Starbug. Since the larger ship is now circumnavigating a large asteroid belt, the more maneuverable Starbug has an opportunity to hazard a journey through the asteroids and head Red Dwarf off at the pass. Upon entering the belt, Starbug enters a graveyard of ships. A scouter survey of one of the dead ships reveals a black box recording of a surviving astronaut being killed by a horrifying insect creature known as a Psiren – similar to a GELF, but instead of changing its shape to please those nearby, Psirens change shape to seduce their prey and then suck their brains out with metal straws. Granted, this may please somebody, but you’d have to be really deranged, or an extremist in the field of accupuncture. The Psirens try every tactic to snare individual members of the crew, and one Psiren manages to stow away aboard Starbug, where the crew are trapped with it…

Season 6 Regular Cast: Chris Barrie (Rimmer), Craig Charles (Lister), Danny John-Jules (Cat), Robert Llewellyn (Kryten)

Order the DVDswritten by Rob Grant & Doug Naylor
directed by Andy De Emmony
music by Howard Goodall

Guest Cast: Jenny Agutter (Professor Mamet), Samantha Robson (Pete Tranter’s Sister), Anita Dobson (Captain Tau), Richard Ridings (Crazed Astro), C.P. Grogan (Kochanski), Zoe Hilson (Temptress), Elizabeth Anson (Temptress)

LogBook entry by Earl Green

Legion

Red DwarfStarbug’s supply situation is getting desperate, leaving Lister to dine on grilled space weevil (though he doesn’t know what incredibly unthinkable morsel Kryten has prepared for him), when Cat sounds a swirly thing alert based upon his nasal instincts. Rimmer orders this alert replaced by the only slightly more formal blue alert, and the intruding object Cat sensed finally appears – a heat-seeking device which envelops Starbug in an energy field and drags it into a huge, amazingly advanced space station which Kryten discovers is a top-secret research facility. A strange being – half organic, half mechanical – greets them by name, bestowing numerous gifts: hospitality, a feast, an impromptu appendectomy for Lister, and a hard light system for Rimmer, allowing him to touch objects. Legion does, however, set one condition upon his guests: they can never leave his station, for Legion depends on them for his own existence.

Order the DVDswritten by Rob Grant & Doug Naylor
directed by Andy De Emmony
music by Howard Goodall

Guest Cast: Nigel Williams (Legion)

Original Title: Call Me Legion

LogBook entry by Earl Green

Gunmen of the Apocalypse

Red DwarfStarbug has wandered into a rogue simulant hunting zone, where a gigantic warship confronts the crew and demands assurances that there are no human vermin aboard. Despite Lister’s attempt to bluff his way past the simulants by passing himself off as an ambassador of the Vindaloo Empire, the simulants board Starbug. Knocking the crew out for three weeks, they also install more advanced weaponry so the Starbug crew can put up a fight for the simulants’ amusement. But to the killer mechanoids’ surprise, the Starbug crew decide to attack the simulant warship. The simulants, their ship heavily damaged, fire the Armageddon Virus at Starbug which locks the ship’s course on collision with a nearby planet and then renders all systems inoperative. Kryten links into Starbug’s computers to absorb the virus but winds up incapacitated. With minutes to spare before crashing into the planet ahead, the others try to help Kryten by linking into his mind with a virtual reality of the wild west.

Order the DVDswritten by Rob Grant & Doug Naylor
directed by Andy De Emmony
music by Howard Goodall

Red DwarfGuest Cast: Jennifer Calvert (Loretta), Denis Lill (Simulant Captain/Death), Liz Hickling (Simulant Lieutenant), Imogen Bain (Lola), Steve Devereaux (Jimmy), Robert Inch (War), Jeremy Peters (Pestilence), Dinny Powell (Famine), Stephen Marcus (Bear Strangler McGee)

LogBook entry by Earl Green

Emohawk: Polymorph II

Red DwarfStarbug is hunted by a Space Corps robot law enforcement vessel, and after taking several shots from the drone, Starbug is forced to land in the ocean in an attempt to put out uncontrollable fires. Unfortunately, Starbug has landed on a planet populated by hideous GELFs, and the ship’s oxy-generation unit is damaged beyond repair. As luck would have it, though, the leader of the local GELF tribe happens to have such a unit handy, and is willing to trade with the Starbug crew. But what he wants in exchange for the OG unit is a husband for the loveliest of his three horrifically hairy daughters, an honor he decides Lister is worthy of. Lister is persuaded to agree to marry the flea-ridden beauty, and the OG unit is given to Kryten. But when Lister runs for his life to escape his honeymoon, the tribal leader sends his pet polymorph after the Starbug crew – and only the combined talents of Duane Dibbley and “Ace” Rimmer can set things right!

Order the DVDswritten by Rob Grant & Doug Naylor
directed by Andy De Emmony
music by Howard Goodall

Guest Cast: Hugh Quarshie (Computer), Martin Sims (GELF), Ainsley Harriot (GELF Chief), Steven Wickham (GELF Bride)

LogBook entry by Earl Green

Rimmerworld

Red DwarfStarbug returns to the rogue simulant warship it fought before, from which Lister plans to raid the cargo bays for food. One of the simulants turns out to have survived the previous encounter with Starbug, and it isn’t happy. Any exchange of fire on the simulant ship will bring the interior crashing down on anyone inside. For a moment, it looks as though Rimmer might actually attempt a daring attack on the simulant from behind, but in reality he’s just sneaking over to an escape pod, whose launch destabilizes the ship. The others scramble back to Starbug and escape, but they’re unable to catch up with Rimmer’s escape pod as it tumbles into a wormhole. Due to relativistic time dilation, by the time Starbug catches up with Rimmer, 600 years will have passed for him. In that time, he will found a new society all his own…

Order the DVDswritten by Rob Grant & Doug Naylor
directed by Andy De Emmony
music by Howard Goodall

Guest Cast: Liz Hickling (Rogue Simulant)

LogBook entry by Earl Green

Out Of Time

Red DwarfAll trace of Red Dwarf has been lost. In the meantime, Starbug has wandered into a stellar fog concealing a reality minefield, which is itself defending something deep within the center of the fog. After stumbling through a number of unreality pockets, they reach the center of the minefield and find a derelict 28th century spaceship capable of time travel. They steal the time drive and install it in Starbug. Not long after, they are contacted by another spacecraft – another Starbug, this one from the distant future, occupied by the gang in their later years, when they have been using the time drive for decades to live the high life, but their time drive has broken down and they want the present Starbug’s time drive. And they’re willing to engage their past selves in mortal combat to get it.

Order the DVDswritten by Rob Grant & Doug Naylor
directed by Andy De Emmony
music by Howard Goodall

Guest Cast: none

Original Title: Present From The Future

LogBook entry by Earl Green

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