A Substantial Gift

Police SquadA bank teller who’s deep in debt stages a holdup of her own bank, and leaves evidence pointing to a rather nondescript man who just happened to be there, and Frank Drebin is there. Police Squad, a special division of the police department, swings into action and discovers that one person’s story doesn’t add up. Now it’s up to Frank to figure out who that person is…

Season 1 Regular Cast: Leslie Nielsen (Frank Drebin), Alan North (Ed Hawkins), Rex Hamilton (Abraham Lincoln)

written by Jim Abrahams, Jerry Zucker and David Zucker
directed by Jim Abrahams, Jerry Zucker and David Zucker
music by Ira Newborn

Special Guest Star: Lorne Greene (as himself)

Guest Cast: Ed Williams (Mr. Olson), William Duell (Johnny), Barbara Tarbuck (Mr. Twice), Terry Wills (Jim), Terrence Beasor (Dr. Zubatsky), Russell Shannon (Ralph Twice), Jimmy Briscoe (Cop), Kathryn Leigh Scott (Sally)

Alternate Title: The Broken Promise

LogBook entry by Earl Green

Ring Of Fear

Police SquadA prizefighter past his prime has somehow been coerced into losing his matches in the boxing ring, and Frank Drebin is there. If the ex-champ would throw punches instead of throwing the whole fight, his career would be back on track – but his corrupt manager has kidnapped his girlfriend. Frank tries to save the fighter’s ladyfriend while also landing him his last shot at a career-saving match in the ring.

teleplay by Tino Insana and Robert Wuhl
story by David Misch
directed by Joe Dante
music by Ira Newborn

Special Guest Star: Georg Stanford Brown (as himself)

Guest Cast: Ed Williams (Mr. Olson), William Duell (Johnny), Rudy Solari (Martin), Patrick St. Esprit (Buddy), Tessa Richards (Mary), Floyd Levine (Cooper), Irwin Keyes (Luca), Grand Bush (The Champ)

Alternate Title: A Dangerous Assignment

LogBook entry by Earl Green

The Butler Did It

Police SquadThe daughter of a wealthy businessman is kidnapped on her birthday, and Frank Drebin is there. Frank and Ed listen closely to the recording of the kidnappers’ demands, and find an excellent clue – the distinctively bloated and grumpy sounds of the tuba. (Though it could also be a ship’s horn.) When Police Squad tracks down the kidnapper, the ruthless crook fights back. And when someone opens fire on Police Squad, Police Squad looks for a hiding place as quickly as possible!

teleplay by Pat Proft
story by Deborah Hwang and Robert K. Weiss
directed by Georg Stanford Brown
music by Ira Newborn

Special Guest Star: Robert Goulet (as himself)

Guest Cast: Ed Williams (Mr. Olson), William Duell (Johnny), Peter Lupus (Norberg), Tommy LaSorda (himself), Nicolas Coster (Warner), Lilibet Stern (Terri), Byron Webster (Thames), Ken Michelman (Kingsley), Peter Elbing (Mime), K. Callan (Charlotte)

Alternate Title: A Bird In The Hand

LogBook entry by Earl Green

Revenge and Remorse

Police SquadA district judge’s courtroom is booby-trapped with a powerful bomb, and Frank Drebin is there. But Frank suspects that someone else was there, too – Eddie, a just-paroled felon convicted of similar bombings in the past. Eddie’s ex-wife Lana seems strangely disinterested in the possibility that Eddie’s up to his old tricks again, and she also doesn’t care about Frank and Ed’s investigation, though she has no qualms about pantsing them for charity. As it turns out, Eddie has a showgirl on the side, and has been violating his parole. But is he really the mad bomber, or just a slightly agitated bomber?

written by Nancy Steen and Neil Thompson
directed by Paul Krasny
music by Ira Newborn

Special Guest Star: William Shatner (as himself)

Guest Cast: Ed Williams (Mr. Olson), William Duell (Johnny), Peter Lupus (Norberg), Dr. Joyce Brothers (herself), Spence Milligan (Eddie), Bonnie Campbell Britton (Lana), K.T. O’Sullivan (Mimi)

Alternate Title: The Guilty Alibi

LogBook entry by Earl Green

Rendezvous at Big Gulch

Police SquadA mob “insurance” scam threatens several inner city businesses and residents, and Frank Drebin is there. After a dance instructor is beaten up, Frank and Norberg open their own shop, and sure enough, the thugs drop by to offer them insurance. When Frank rebuffs their threats, the criminals strike, and strike hard. Frank does, in fact, have the key to ending the crime wave – largely because he and Norberg have opened a key-making store.

teleplay by Nancy Steen and Neil Thompson
story by Pat Proft
directed by Reza S. Badiyi
music by Ira Newborn

Special Guest Star: Florence Henderson (as herself)

Guest Cast: Ed Williams (Mr. Olson), William Duell (Johnny), Peter Lupus (Norberg), Al Ruscio (Dutch), Robert Costanzo (Leo), John Ashton (Rocky), Connie Needham (Jill), Rebecca Holden (Stella)

Alternate Title: Terror In The Neighborhood

LogBook entry by Earl Green

Testimony of Evil

Police SquadA struggling comedian, who owes money to the owner of a nightclub, dies in a suspicious car crash, and Frank Drebin is there. But this was no ordinary comedian – he was also a police informant who infiltrated a drug ring which is believed to operate from that very same nightclub. Frank takes the place of the deceased at the nightclub, and he’s no ordinary comedian either. But will Frank succumb to the lure of the limelight, or will he crack the case?

written by Tino Insana and Robert Wuhl
directed by Joe Dante
music by Ira Newborn

Special Guest Star: William Conrad (himself)

Guest Cast: Ed Williams (Mr. Olson), William Duell (Johnny), Peter Lupus (Norberg), Dick Clark (himself), Dick Miller (Dick)

Alternate Title: Dead Men Don’t Laugh

Notes: This was the final episode of Police Squad on ABC.

LogBook entry by Earl Green

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