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May 2017 on the Internet: a digest
And now, a brief digest of highlights of internet activity in May 2017.
Category: Funny Stuff
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Conversations with Little C, day 883
At breakfast.
C: [farts loudly]
C: What was THAT?
ME: Uh…that was you, buddy.
C: No daddy! That was YOU!
ME: He who smelt it, dealt it.
C: No daddy!… Read more
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Potential grizzlies
…
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A question of taste
Folks, I have a request, and it’s one I make out of a sense of decency.
Please, please don’t mention Chee-tos when referring to President-Elect Trump.
Several of my friends have done this, but please…don’t. It’s a question of respect. … Read more
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Conversations with kittehs: ice cream
No, Obi. You don’t need any of this ice cream. I mean, in the strictest possible sense, I probably don’t need it either. But you, as a cat, definitely do not need my ice cream.… Read more
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Tonight after Star Trek…
Click through to large, but awesome, GIF.
…
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Next voyage…
I knew it. I knew it. It’s been percolating all day in the back of my head and I knew it – it would make a perfect classic Star Trek episode title.
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Conversations with Little C, day 635
C: Daddy! [waves building block creation around] I got a block.
ME: That’s great, buddy! What else have you got?
[C disappears into his room, comes out carrying a squirmy Portia]
C: Daddy! I got a cat.
ME: Maybe she wants you to sit her down. What else have you got?
[C disappears into his room, comes back out waving a plastic chair over his head, narrowly missing computers and tables and cats with it]
C: Daddy! I got a chair!
ME: Woah there, Jerry Springer!… Read more
Conversations with Little E: Day 3191
ME: I’ve finally figured it out, buddy. Your little brother…he’s pretty much Indiana Jones. And you…you’re Daniel Jackson.
E: Daniel Jackson? Dad, what are you talking about?
ME [in a deep voice]: I will explain later, Daniel Jackson.… Read more
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A persistent vegetative state
I was going to do lasagna for dinner, then decided to do steak and veggies instead. I think the veggies turned out better than the steak, and the steak was nothing to sneeze at.
Which brings us to…how in the world did that phrase even get started? Has anyone ever deliberately sneezed at something? Is there some supervillain named Antihistaman whose evil superpower is precisely targeted sneezing? If he detects a bogey, does he launch a booger?
C’mon, people, we’ve got to find out. This question’snot going to answer itself.
P.S.: The second steak survived to be taken to work tomorrow for lunch, as planned. The veggies? They did not survive tonight. Um…plan B?… Read more
