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Oompa LoompasE: Hey dad, you want to hear me recite the Preamble to the Constitution?
ME: Sure.
E: [recites the Preamble word-for-word, only a little bit haltingly]
ME: Wow.
E: Did I get it right?
ME: Yeah you did. I’m gonna cast a write-in vote for you to be president in a few years.
E: Whaaaat?
ME: I can already tell you’ve read more of the Constitution than the guy who’s there now.

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