So I traveled back in time and the following conversation happened.
Me ’14: Hey, I’m you from 30 years in the future.
Me ’84: Right. You look more like Dad from the past.
Me ’14: Yeah, that starts to happen. I just wanted to tell you that I just saw the preview for Star Wars Episode VII.
Me ’84: No kidding, 30 years in the future, when I’m old, bald and fat? Like they’re going to wait that long.
Me ’14: The bald-and-fat thing is mainly going to happen between 1987 and 1997. Maybe knowing that, you’ll do better than I did. I’d appreciate it. Anyway, you’re going to watch the preview on a computer while you’re feeding your second child a bottle.
Me ’84: I’m going to wait that long to have kids?
Me ’14: You’ll have another one first.
Me ’84: I’ll be a famous writer by then, right?
Me ’14: Heh… well, you’ll be a writer. But not even internet famous. But that’s okay. Fame is this whole different, mostly stupid, thing by the time you’re me.
Me ’84: …what famous?
Fig. 1: Me ’84
Me ’14: By the way, thanks for keeping the Coleco mini-arcades and all the Odyssey2 stuff in good shape. Really good move. If you would, remember never to loan out Q*Bert’s Qubes and Mr. Do’s Castle for the Atari. Never. To anyone.
Me ’84: I did that last week.
Me ’14: Oh. [pause] Moron.
Okay, I lie. In real life, this was the conversation.
Me ’14: What did you think, buddy?
Little E: That was really short.