Wanna know what passes for romance around here? Have a seat and I’ll tell you a story.
This is the Love Crab. Sadly, he’s the only one I’ve got. He was a Valentine’s Day present that I got for my wife several years ago. I got him for two bucks at Dollar General, but sadly, I didn’t have enough on me to purchase his many identical brethren, which kinda blew the whole thing.
The idea was to festoon my wife’s room with all of these heart-holding stuffed crustaceans. Then if anyone asked what she’d gotten for Valentine’s Day, she would’ve had to reveal that I’d given her crabs.
Since the boy has inherited Love Crab, I guess it’s just as well that we didn’t have to explain to him why there were a dozen of the things sitting around. That would’ve taken a while, and it would’ve totally ruined the punch line.
In the mean time, Valentine’s Day this year was spent being stalked by kittehs.
If you can’t land some decent stalkers on Valentine’s Day, then, I ask, when can you?