Announcer: You’ve been writing. You’ve been calling. You’ve picked up your pens, picked up your phones and finally picked the used contraceptives up off the floor to tell us what YOU want to hear! Well, we’re about to give it to you. Mr. Marvin G. Pervert writes to us from Room 11-B at Our Lady Of The Mispronounced Surname mental hospital:

Marvin: Dear friends. I would like to hear more smut on your program. Sincerely, Marvin G. Pervert. P.S. I very much enjoyed the flowers and the inflatible George C. Scott life-size doll —

SFX: the tape goes into fast-forward momentarily and then – click!

Announcer: Well, Marvin, since we selected your letter at random from thousands of postal morsels we collected after our ’68 VW minibus demolished the mailbox on the corner, we’re going to grant you YOUR wish on the air! You want more smut? Here it is!

SFX: heroic music begins

Mr. Melodrama: He was abandoned by his parents’ owners and wound up in the pound, his days numbered and his number almost up. But he was adopted by a sporadically flatulent ham radio fanatic who taught him not only to pollute the air, but to sieze it for himself. And now, he’s the top dog. He’s…MORSE MUTT!

Dog: Ruf ruf ruf. Wooof wooof wooof! Ruf ruf ruf.

SFX: in background, dog continues barking messages in morse code

Mr. Melodrama: Bridging the communication gap between the species and crusading for the right of every dog to get an FCC license! It’s MORSE MUTT…coming soon to a frequency near you!

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About the Author

Earl Green ()

I'm the creator, editor-in-chief and head writer of theLogBook.com.

Website: http://www.theLogBook.com

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