They performed a few songs on the show, but the best stuff is on the album. Not that you can easily get it. It’s never been released on CD.

So, you’ve heard of Queen, right? Big, oversized, operatic rock band known for hits like “Bohemian Rhapsody” and “Flash”? But have you heard of the greatest Japanese Queen tribute band of all time, Kween?

I though not. So let me introduce you to one of the awesomest* bands in the world.

*Yes, “awesomest” is the only word that truly conveys how awesome Kween is.

This one is entitled Bloodsword and tells a heartbreaking tale of bad luck, destruction and the loss of innocence. Or maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it just fulfilled a requirement to tell a narrative story. Either way, it’s just ripe for a $100M Hollywood remake.

Now, that’s not to say that it is a perfect film. Kingdom suffers from a lack of…well…gravitas. It’s something that is also missing from Temple, but to a greater degree. Temple’s mysticism is pretty much completely made up, while the underlying stories for Raiders and Crusade were based on real, existing myths and stories. The central story of Kingdom is also made up, but calls upon various diverse myths, so it’s not as bad.

Of course, like the better Indy films, Kingdom also has its character moments. Indy’s relationship with his young traveling companion, Mutt Williams (Shia LaBeaouf), informs much of the early part of the film and his reborn relationship with Raiders leading lady Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen) informs much of the second half. While both are emotionally satisfying and consistant, neither has the resonance of Indy and Marion in Raiders or Indy and his father in Crusade. And there is no viable replacement for those memorable supporting characters like Sallah or Marcus Brody. The closest is the dubious George “Mac” McHale (Ray Winstone) and the brain addled Professor Oxley (John Hurt). (Jim Broadbent’s Dean Stanforth is just a glorified cameo; not even as significant as Brody in Raiders.) Temple at least had Short Round. As for the primary villain, Commie Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett) serves her purpose and is reasonably well matched to Raiders‘ Belloq and Crusade’s Donovan (though they both outclass her in various ways).

Harrison Ford pretty much falls into the part of Indiana Jones as if no time has passed since 1989. The years hang well on him and they seem natural. Indy was never a superman, so Ford and Indy’s aging never seems like weakness, just business as usual. The only other holdover from the original films is, of course, Karen Allen. She, too, seems to have fallen back into character with ease, despite an even longer interval. She’s still lovely and her interactions with Ford still have zest, if lacking in the same level of sexual tension from days of old.

Sly references to the previous films (and The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles) are kept to a minimum; just enough to remind us of the series’ history without smashing the audience over the head with it. While previous knowledge of the earlier works adds to the enjoyment of Kingdom, it is by no means required.

Somehow the film seems less “Spielbergian” than the previous three. Spielberg has stated that he tried to return to a style of filmmaking from which he has moved on, but he seems instead to have suppressed his natural style. Composer John Williams, on the other hand, is at ease as the lead actors. He has said that the Indy and Star Wars films are fun for him because he can get back into the feel quickly and he certainly is on form with his score for Kingdom. Again it is the time period that provides the biggest difference with the older films, as the era brings with it rock & roll sequences where appropriate (while the original films were practically devoid of period music).

Amongst the fun there are other missteps. There is a bit of Commie-baiting from a pair of FBI agents that seems to be there only because the filmmakers must have felt they were required to put it in. It serves no purpose within the story and is dropped without another mention almost immediately. The film also lacks a really strong set piece, like Raiders‘ Well of Souls or Crusade’s Grail room. There are some scenes (particularly early on) that I think were intentionally shot studio-style to evoke the feel of 50’s films, but end up looking rather cheap. Also, the decision to make most of the film’s effects practical causes the CGI elements to stand out more than they otherwise might have.

On the other hand, Kingdom is a much funnier movie than the previous three films. It mines the sci-fi B-movie territory made possible by its 1950s setting to great effect without losing the high action that is the series’ trademark. I actually asked myself at one point if the film wasn’t being too funny, but I decided as long as it actually was being funny and not just painfully trying to be, it was fine.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is not a return to the glory of the previous highs of the series. With so many years in between and so many of the original cast and crew either retired or no longer with us, it was unlikely it could ever be. But it is a solid, entertaining outing that does justice to its characters while delivering the thrills, scares and laughs that an audience looks for in its popcorn fare. It proves that Indy is a character that can continue on, even if most of his personal emotional journey was resolved long ago. And it does what the original Star Wars and Indiana Jones movies first set out to do: take a film landscape littered with dark, depressing dramas and low comedies and show that fun, exciting thrill rides can still work, even after all these years.

The story tells of a television composer, Peter Bretter (Jason Segel), whose girlfriend, TV star Sarah Marshall (Kristen Bell of TV’s Veronica Mars and Heroes), dumps him. With the help of his step-brother, Brian (SNL’s Bill Hader), he tries to get over her by sleeping with lots of women, but decides he needs to get away. He chooses to go to Hawaii because Sarah had always talked about going there. He does, but is shocked to find that Sarah is there with her new rock-star boyfriend, Aldous Snow (Russell Brand). Peter finds it all a bit too much to take, but finds help in the form of Rachel Jansen (Kunis), a girl who works at the hotel who takes an instant liking to him.

I think the start of the film is intended to pull in those people expecting a “Chuck-like” experience and sucker them into watching something more. Certainly the copious amounts of male frontal nudity (by the in-no-shape-to-be-filmed-naked Segel) made me think I had probably made a mistake. But once Peter reaches Hawaii, an amazing thing happens. Suddenly, I found myself in the middle of a well-written, decently performed comedy that had more to say about relationships than just a bunch of sex jokes.

Key to this is the fact that none of the characters are given the easy way out. Credit for this goes to Jason Segel himself, making his screenwriting debut with Sarah Marshall. While Sarah is clearly in the position of the “bad guy” and much of her behavior supports that, she is still given a level of sympathy beyond her obvious good looks. Sarah clearly had issues with Peter that went beyond her just being a slut or something. And Segel and director Nicholas Stoller do an excellent job of setting up Peter and Sarah’s reuniting as a viable potential outcome. I’m going to do something odd here and compare this film to the action flick Speed. I’ve always said that Speed’s greatest strength was in sticking to a formula, while simultaneously defying it and convincing the audience that things *just might not* turn out the way everyone expected. The same can be said here. There were moments where I thought they might let the two get back together. It flies in the face of the formula, but they made it seem like it might go there. *That* helped keep me interested.

And before you think that this is some kind of drama, let me make it clear that this is a *very* funny comedy. Yes, it does get into that over-the-top nonsense that is often the only thing holding some comedies together these days, but that stuff (like a newlywed couple having sex problems on their Honeymoon) seems tacked on, as if the filmmakers thought they needed to do that kind of stuff. (Again, like the opening.) Most of the comedy is of a more traditional (you know, funny) nature. There’s a lot of mileage made from Peter’s great life’s work, a rock opera version of Dracula - using puppets. It’s just the kind of ernestly-delivered nonsense that I adore. And the dialogue is honestly funny, coming from real-life situations, not unbelieveable nonsense.

There’s also a lot of good comedy to be found in the smaller roles. Paul Rudd (Anchorman) shows his versatility again in the role of a brain-dead surfing instructor. He was so immersed in the role that I actually kept asking myself “Is that Paul Rudd? I think he’s in this. Is that him? No. Yes. Is it?” Great stuff. There’s also solid material for Jonah Hill (Superbad) as a star-struck waiter who continuously tries to get in with Aldous Snow. And there’s a few more smaller parts; Davon McDonald as a bartender, William Baldwin as Sarah’s TV show co-star and even Steve Landesberg (Barney Miller) as Peter’s doctor friend. Bill Hader’s Brian suffers a bit from the film’s dichotomy, being something of a wise advisor to Peter in the early scenes (trying to talk real sense to Peter), but becomes basically a goof once Peter gets to Hawaii (becoming obsessed with his computer’s visual effects). He’s effective in either mode, but it keeps the character from being as well defined as it otherwise could have been.

But the film is carried by the leads. All the excellent writing in the world wouldn’t matter if they couldn’t make the characters real. Segel obviously tailored the lead role for himself, as it doesn’t stretch him too far and he is able to carry the film ably. (Again, he shows great fearlessness.) If I have a complaint about him it’s that he is so overwhelmingly out of it following the breakup, it’s difficult to see why so many women (three shown, but more implied) would go for a guy who shifts between utter depression and drunken idiocy. But that’s all pre-Hawaii, so I’ll chalk it up to the film not having found its legs yet at that stage. Mila Kunis makes her Rachel more than just a romantic ideal. She comes off as a real person, not just a convenient savior for the distressed Peter. She is set up as his eventual love interest in her first moments on screen, but Kunis keeps her interesting and her place in Peter’s life seems natural and not at all contrived. Russel Brand has the difficult challenge of making his character, who is quite clearly a self-centered ass, somehow noble. He may be a jerk, but he’s comfortable in his own skin, something none of the other characters can claim. But Kristen Bell has the hardest task, as Sarah must be shown to be the “wrong girl”, yet we as an audience need to understand why she has been so appealing to Peter and she has to really sell that potential reconcilliation I mentioned earlier.

The soundtrack is a definite highlight. While Lyle Workman’s original score is so subtle as to be unnoticeable, the songs really stand out. First, there’s that stuff from Peter’s “Dracula”. Writing funny songs that aren’t obviously funny in-story isn’t easy, but these are winners. Segel sings them with such heartfelt honesty that they’re innate silliness is amplified. (To the film’s credit, it ultimately recognizes how silly it all is without trivializing it.) There is also Aldous Snow’s environmental song “We’ve Got to do Something”, which ably skewers “right thinking” rock songs and his preposterous supposed love song “Inside of You”. On top of that material, there are several songs that fall into the anti-romance (”These Boots Are Made for Walkin’”, “Everybody Hurts”) and overly-romantic (”More Than Words”, “Nothing Compares 2 U”) categories delivered in the Hawaiian language to great effect. If the Dracula songs hadn’t sold me, that Hawaiian Prince cover did. I’m buying this soundtrack.

It would be silly to try and pretend that I didn’t like this film just because its excesses were so irritating. I laughed too much and liked pretty much all the major characters to such a degree that I know I will want to watch it again. I may chapter skip to Hawaii, but I’ll definitely watch it again. Honestly, I think a re-edit that removes all of the over-the-top sex and nudity would do this film a world of good. It will play much better edited-for-television. But if you’re considering seeing Forgetting Sarah Marshall, as long as your prepared to see more of Jason Segel than you ever wanted to and you can look past its several hiccups, I can certainly recommend it.

First, I’d like to talk about Sergio Aragones Groo: 25th Anniversary Special.

Groo is one of the series responsible for my voluminous comic book collection. I first read Groo in a preview that appeared in Epic Magazine that I read in a grocery store while my father did the shopping. This led to me buying Groo each month when it showed up in my local 7-11. (Yes, 7-11 still had comics back then.) Eventually, I lost track of Groo after I stopped going with my dad to the store, but he was one of the first things I picked up again when I started collecting after high school. I read it faithfully through the Epic years and then followed to Image, all the while collecting the older issues I missed. (Got ‘em all except that Eclipse special).

Then something Earth-shatteringly horrible happened. In the most shark-jumping, mind-boggling move, they let Groo learn to read. Instantaneously, the comic went from being the most consistantly funny and entertaining comics to the most tedious series of dissertations on liberal political thought this side of a Warren Beatty symposium. I really wasn’t reading Groo for wafer-thinly veiled allegories on the dangers of NAFTA. (Groo helps build a bridge which leads to all the low-paying job going across the river. Yawn.) In a move matched only once in the history of my collecting (more on that later), I dropped the title.

Over the years since, Groo began appearing in limited series and I would sample from time to time. Some were good, some were better, some were boring. But thankfully, none reached the level of tedium that had driven me away. So, eventually, I started buying all the new ones when they came out again. But then came my experience with the aforementioned “Special”.

Basically, the main story is an all-out attack on two groups of people: doctors and priests, both of whom are held up as examples of greed. The doctors are attacked for not trying to cure disease because there’s more money in people being sick than in making them healthy. This is obviously meant as an attack on the “health care system”, except it actually directly attacks doctors themselves. Even most of the people foolish enough to think that “Sicko” is an accurate documentary don’t think that it’s the doctors who are the problem. I’m not even going to dignify the childish attack on clergy with a proper response. It’s too pathetic and simplistic.

I cannot think of a worse way to celebrate twenty-five years of Groo. I don’t think there are many fans who would say that they read Groo for the biting social commentary. They wouldn’t find it if they were looking for it, anyway. The early (read “good”) stories didn’t have much in the way of social commentary and the ones that did were very broad and light, not cemented to specific issues of the day. (Like that NAFTA one. Hardly a universal issue able to stand the test of time.) It’s one thing to write a story that questions the validity of war in general, quite another to write about a king (who had less support of the people than his brother, but got to be king anyway) who wages an unpopular war (without even “having a plan”). Subtle and timeless, eh? That’s the premise of the follow-up mini-series by Evanier, et. al. (I no longer believe Sergio is involved in the stories at all, they have none of his touches).

Here’s what I did with the first two issues (the only ones I bought):

I had a lot of fun doing that, but I don’t think it’s the kind of celebration they had in mind.

But then there’s that other momentous occurance I mentioned. This one goes back to that other shocking moment in the history of my collecting: the day I took “The Legion of Super-Heroes” off my list.

You see, the Legion is the real reason I started collecting comics. It started with Ambush Bug. I read the original mini-series around the same time I was first reading Groo. Loved it. Bought the “Son of Ambush Bug” series and started getting his older appearances. Then I got DC Comics Presents #59, where Ambush Bug ends up in the future and Superman brings him in with the help of the Legion of Substitute Heroes. This led to me getting the Legion of Substitute Heroes Special. Which led to my collecting the real Legion, starting with Keith Giffen’s first run.

The Legion became the backbone of my collection and collecting Legion comics was the main thrust of my efforts. One of my favorite items in my collection is my copy of Adventure Comics #353 (featuring the death of Ferro Lad) autographed by the late artist Curt Swan. I was actually trying to get every single appearance, no matter how fleeting. (One Legionnaire seen in a thought bubble? Good enough for me!)

Then the Legion had a moment similar to Groo’s shark jump: Legion Volume 4. The Legion at that point had been kicked around a bit too much by the DC powers-that-be. John Byrne had been allowed to do away with Superboy which, as he had tried to warn everyone, left a huge gap in Legion history. Various attempts to fix the continuity errors were tried, but each seemed to make things more complicated. By the time Volume 4 began, the first series to be without longtime writer Paul Levitz (who had moved up to management), the editors felt things had to be cleaned up. New creative team of Keith Giffen (artist/plotter) and Tom & Mary Bierbaum (plot/dialogue) had already decided to “age” the Legion, taking them away from their teenage (or at least “young adult”) roots and basically plop them into their thirties. Now they were forced to completely re-write Legion history without the convenience of a reboot. Good heavens it stank. It was a shock to me, who up until then had practically worshipped Giffen, to see him fail so spectacularly with a series with which he had been so successful in the past. (I still consider Levitz & Giffen’s “The Great Darkness Saga” to be one of the best comic book story arcs in the history of the medium.)

So, I dropped the book. The day I walked into my local comics shop and said “take the Legion off my list”, you could have heard a pin drop. Andy, the store owner, was flabbergasted, but it had to be done. I couldn’t even make it a year into that quagmire that Giffen and the Bierbaums had foisted on the world. Subsequent research has indicated that things only got worse. The Bierbaums, comic book fans and friends of Giffen, were not good writers. They engaged in all sorts of fanwank while simultaneously destroying any kind of fidelity to the essence of the Legion the series had left. It’s been debated as to whether this era was truly a reboot or not, but I never considered anything that happened after the history reworking began to be valid. (Just a quick hint of that era’s storylines: longtime female character reveals herself to be male - longtime boyfriend says it doesn’t matter, the Earth blows up because of pollution, a group of teenage Legion clones are found, character who died but was brought back from the dead in the sixties is shown to have been dead all along, etc., etc., etc.) Eventually, dwindling sales convinced DC that it was time to start over. The first complete reboot began.

But not the last. After gaining some traction with the “Zero Hour” edition of the team, things degenerated again and the Legion was once again started over from scratch, this time a complete rethink with the Legion some sort of youth anti-establishment movement. This approach didn’t work, so Supergirl was brought in to add a bit of sex and star appeal, but that wasn’t working much either, so DC decided to try something that I honestly didn’t think they had the guts or clear-headedness to try. They brought back Jim Shooter.

Who’s Jim Shooter? I don’t really have the time to go into all the details of his long career in comics, but here it is in a nutshell. Jim Shooter is one of the most significant figures in the history of comics. He came to prominance during the late seventies when he was named Marvel Comic’s Editor-In-Chief, replacing Archie Goodwin. The impact he had during his tenure cannot be denied.

He ruled Marvel with an iron hand, unwilling to allow even the biggest names to coast or rest on their laurels, all the while fighting with corporate brass to make things better for the creative teams. Shooter was a lightning rod for complaints. Marvel unwilling to give Jack Kirby his original artwork? Blame Shooter. No royalties on comic books sold? Blame Shooter. The “New Universe” is crap? Blame Shooter. Well, maybe you can blame him for that to some degree. The thing is, Shooter tended to take the hits for unpopular stances held by Marvel management because that was *his job*. Behind the scenes he pushed like crazy to get artists their pages back. He put together a royalty package almost as soon as he got the EIC job, but upper management refused until DC did one first. And management also crippled the New Universe by giving Shooter so little money he couldn’t attract top talent to the line.

But Shooter also put an end to the writer/editor and severley cut back on editors just giving their titles to their editor buddies. This allowed creative teams to thrive who were not a part of Marvel’s editorial department. It’s no coincidence that the Chris Claremont/John Byrne X-Men, Byrne Fantastic Four, Frank Miller Daredevil, Walt Simonson Thor and the Bob Layton / David Michelinie Iron Man all happened during Shooter’s watch. He spearheaded company crossovers with the Secret Wars series. And he oversaw the company as it pulled itself out of near bankruptcy.

Eventually, of course, he was fired. Too many fights with management over Shooter’s preference for the creative people instead of the bottom line and too littel support from the creative people who felt he was squeezing them dry for every last penny. He went on to form Valiant Comics utilizing characters from the then-abandoned Gold Key line of comics like Magnus, Robot Fighter and Turok, Son of Stone. It was a huge artistic and financial success and only went south when Shooter was ousted after fighting with his business partners. They immediately sold the company to Acclaim (the video game people) and both companies had crashed and burned within a few years. Shooter then started Defiant Comics (main title Plasm) and then Broadway Comics (main title Powers That Be), but neither got off the ground. He remains a divisive figure in comics; respected for his accomplishments, but reviled by many - often those who never even worked with him.

But what’s all this stuff about the creative and editorial control of Marvel Comics? What does all this have to do with the Legion?

You see, before he became chief-high-muckety-muck at Marvel, before he became an entrepreneur and a pariah, he was a thirteen-year-old kid sending in stories to DC Comics. What separated him from the hundreds of other kids doing the same thing is that Superman editor Mort Weisinger saw his ability and actually gave him work. Shooter began regularly contributing stories of the Legion of Super-Heroes for their title, Adventure Comics (including the aforementioned “Death of Ferro Lad” storyline), sticking with the series until the end of its run in Adventure. When Shooter tried to re-enter the comics industry a few years later, he found the atmosphere at DC didn’t quite fit his temperament and, instead, he took up with Marvel as a writer and an assistant editor, eventually leading to his taking power as EIC.

Well, in the years since leaving Marvel, Shooter has tried to return to the Legion on at least one occasion, pitching to former Legion writer then head of DC editorial Paul Levitz the idea of “Jim Shooter’s Last Legion Story”, a mini-series that would take place during the original continuity. Levitz loved the idea, but it had to be scratched when Shooter’s name caused too many waves at DC (which by then was populated by a lot of talent that had worked at Marvel under Shooter).

But now things are different and Shooter has returned to the Legion. DC head honcho Dan Didio originally offered Shooter the opportunity to either reboot (again) or to tell his “Last Legion” story and use that as a springboard. To his credit, Shooter chose neither. Feeling that Legion fans have been jerked around enough, he agreed only if he picked it up where it was, just as any other new creative team member would.

And it’s been brilliant so far. I don’t mean the “transcendant” type of brilliant. It’s not “edgy”, it doesn’t “break new ground”. It simply takes the Legion as they are and tells great stories with them. While burdened by a less-than-ideal backstory inherited from his predecessors, Shooter has nonetheless been able to instill it with a sense of the true Legion, the guys I remember; imperfect, but heroes at their core. It’s been a joy to read and it’s been great to feel good about the Legion again after all these years.

Here’s hoping he can keep it going at this level. I’ve been sucked back into series only to be disappointed before. (*cough* Wonder Woman *cough*)

So what’s the answer to regaining my loyalty? Be true to yourself, honest with your readers and don’t betray the characters you’ve been entrusted with, no matter who created them.

In researching this posting, I read a fascinating interview with Shooter (it can be found here) where I learned that these two stories coincide. When Sergio Aragones first created Groo, he took it to Jim Shooter at Marvel. Shooter gave him the go-ahead, intending it to be the first series from Marvel’s creator-owned line Epic comics. Aragones was eventually sweet-talked by Pacific Comics and took Groo there. When it finally came to Epic after Pacific’s collapse, there was a dig at Marvel in the first page concerning how they weren’t willing to let Sergio own the character when he was first created. It seems that Evanier lacked class even back then and things have only gotten worse since.

AUGUST (cont.)
220 - Dune (1984)
221 - Club Dread
222 - The Dukes of Hazzard
223 - Puddle Cruiser
224 - Super Troopers
225 - Beer Fest
226 - Caligula
227 - The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

SEPTEMBER
228 - National Lampoon’s Pledge This!
229 - Live and Let Die
230 - Dodgeball
231 - Home on the Range
232 - 3:10 to Yuma (2007)
233 - The Reluctant Dragon
234 - Lost World: Jurassic Park
235 - The Love Feast
236 - Reno 911: Miami
237 - The Brothers Grimm
238 - The Little Shop of Horrors
239 - A Mighty Wind
240 - The Fox and the Hound
241 - Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
242 - Good Luck Chuck
243 - Asterix & Cleopatra
244 - Super Mario Bros.
245 - Blondie’s Blessed Event
246 - Metropolis
247 - My Cousin Vinnie
248 - Napoleon Dynamite
249 - Umer the Tourist in Star Trek
250 - Live Free or Die Hard
251 - Batman: Mask of the Phantasm
252 - Pinocchio
253 - The Extreme Adventures of Super Dave
254 - Fletch
255 - His Double Life
256 - Outland
257 - Godzilla: Final Wars
258 - Dragonslayer
259 - The Black Cauldron
260 - The Village
261 - Jail Bait
262 - Beyond the Valley of the Dolls

OCTOBER
263 - Saw
264 - Battlefield Earth
265 - Hulk
266 - Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
267 - Lilo & Stitch
268 - Glitter
269 - Hot Lead and Cold Feet
270 - Starsky & Hutch
271 - The Astounding She-Monster
272 - Dungeons & Dragons
273 - Trading Places
274 - Beauty & The Beast
275 - The Doors
276 - 2069: A Sex Odyssey
277 - Old School
278 - Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star
279 - The Dark Crystal
280 - Cocktail Hostesses
281 - Oliver & Company
282 - National Lampoon’s Vacation
283 - The Louisiana Purchase
284 - 2001: A Space Odyssey
285 - The Jungle Book
286 - Arthur
287 - Spawn
288 - The Lone Wolf and His Lady
289 - Little Caesar
290 - Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas
291 - The Fugitive
292 - Cutie Honey
293 - Topper
294 - The Haunted Mansion

NOVEMBER
295 - Sleeping Beauty
296 - Orgazmo
297 - Death Race 2000
298 - Psycho
299 - A Shot in the Dark
300 - DuckTales: The Movie
301 - Angels in the Outfield
302 - Take the Money and Run
303 - The Living Daylights
304 - Sky Patrol
305 - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask)
306 - Dick Tracy
307 - Dick Tracy vs. Cueball
308 - Dick Tracy’s Dilemma
309 - Dick Tracy Meets Gruesome
310 - Flubber
311 - The Wrong Guys
312 - Kingdom of the Spiders
313 - Eegah!
314 - Mitchell
315 - Catalina Caper
316 - Hobgoblins
317 - The Brain That Wouldn’t Die
318 - Elf
319 - GoldenEye
320 - A Christmas Story
321 - The Hunchback of Notre Dame
322 - Soul Plane
323 - Footlight Glamour
324 - Murders in the Rue Morgue

DECEMBER
325 - Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
326 - Raiders of the Lost Ark
327 - Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
328 - New York Stories
329 - Lady and the Tramp
330 - And Now for Something Completely Different
331 - Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country
332 - It’s A Wonderful Life
333 - The Phantom
334 - Steptoe and Son
335 - Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
336 - Hot Rod Girl
337 - Pocahontas
338 - Mr. Bean’s Holiday
339 - Dick Tracy Returns
340 - Scrooged
341 - Night Shift
342 - Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
343 - Lara Croft: Tomb Raider - The Cradle of Life
344 - Make Mine Music
345 - Double Indemnity
346 - Godzilla vs. Megalon
347 - Scrooge (1935)
348 - Carry on Spying
349 - Strange Brew
350 - 101 Dalmations
351 - The Pink Panther
352 - Mary Poppins
353 - The Great Rock & Roll Swindle
354 - Enter the Dragon
355 - Atlantis
356 - Superman Returns
357 - Batman Begins
358 - Scrooge
359 - Jaws
360 - Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
361 - Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
362 - Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
363 - Casino Royale (2006)
364 - Tarzan
365 - Made for Each Other

*Whew!*

That exhausted me just typing it! Anyway, next time, I’ll run down my awards for the remaining months and the overall awards for 2007. Then I’ll get back on that horse and start reviewing again, just not *every* film I saw last year. I definitely want to hit the “themed” reviews I intended to get to, like the Broken Lizard films and the contrast/compare between Superman Returns and Batman Begins. Hopefully time will allow me to do at least that.

Blestyashie!

(or Blestyashchie or Blestyaschie or even the original Блестящие).

1. Unfair practices
This is why Sony was able to “win”. They sold the PS3 at a huge loss in order to make sure that Blu-ray was included in the package. They didn’t even care that doing this led to them basically losing the video game market for this generation. (Keeping Blu-ray out would have meant the hardware could have been much cheaper, therebey giving them a fighting chance they never had as things turned out.) But even with disappointing sales vs. the XBOX 360 and (especially) the Wii, the PS3 was able to trounce the sales that HD-DVD was able to accumulate on its own. Every measure shows that regular (non-gaming) consumers bought HD-DVD players at a significantly higher rate than Blu-ray machines. But gamers bought enough PS3s to more than make up the difference and they bought movies for it (because, frankly, there’s been precious few games worth playing on the thing). So, essentially, thanks to what amounts to a practice of dumping (that would get you sued if you used it to drive a competitor out of business in, say, the microchip market), the “next gen” format has been chosen by a bunch of gamers rather than the general public who will have to live with it.

2. Sony can’t spell
Blu? Blu? Sheesh.

3. The law of diminishing returns
Unlike in the jump from VHS to DVD, the difference between a DVD (particularly once its upscaled) and either Hi-Def format is minimal. Don’t be fooled by the sales guys who will say that the difference is night and day, it isn’t. On a huge-screen TV shown side to side, maybe you will see a difference, but popping a standard DVD into your player and watching it on any reasonably-sized screen, few people are going to look at it and say “man, that looks terrible”. And what good is Hi-Def on your portable player, your car player, the small TV in your bedroom? Useless.

4. An industry that conspired to “get it over with”
Well, maybe not conspired. I have no reason to believe collusion was involved. But when everyone from techwankers like The Digital Bits to Warner Bros. and Netflix chooses Blu-ray *not* because it is the best technology for consumers or the industry as a whole but because “it’s going to win anyway”, it’s a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy. The average consumer seemed to prefer HD-DVD. The sales of standalone players seems to support that notion. But there was *never* a level playing field, as too many “big guns” backed Blu-ray exclusively. Had all major studios (even leaving Sony out) supported both formats, the results would have been different. Disney support alone could have tipped the scale, as families generally opted for the friendlier prices of HD-DVD.

The thing is, you should worry when the industry gathers together to kill one side of a competition in the marketplace. Competition is good. Competition drives prices down and forces the participants to do all they can to make their product better. Now, there’s no reason to.

5. Stupid name
Blu-ray sounds more like an old Golden Age super-hero than a technology to take seriously. “Look out, here comes the Blue Ray! ”

6. Never let the people with all the guns and all the money be the same people.
Out of context, I assure you, but the notion is the same. By allowing Sony, a company who is increasingly more about content than about technology (since they’ve lost so much ground there) to be the ones defining the technology, you take it out of the hands of those who produce only hardware and put it in the hands of those who have a vested interest on both sides. I, for one, prefer it when my technology comes from technology companies and my movies come from movie companies.

7. Disney’s shameful practices
Now, I love my Disney movies, but the disgraceful way they have been pushing Blu-ray is practically criminal. Rather than utilizing all the great new features of Blu-ray (that’s sarcasm, there really aren’t any), they have, instead, purposely left stuff off of their DVD releases in order to tout the “Blu-ray exclusive” material. There’s no reason that the DVDs of Cars and Ratatouille couldn’t have had the same commentary tracks that their Blu-ray counterparts did. Heck, Ratatouille barely had any more extras than Meet the Robinsons and MTR got a commentary track. But Pixar films appeal to a more tech-savvy audience than standard Disney fare and I think the Disney brass wanted to push those customers (the ones most likely to early adopt new technology) towards the Blu-ray, while punishing those not ready or willing to adopt the format.

8. It’s all going away, anyhow.
If the industry is to be believed, we’re all going to be downloading all our media content in the years to come. There are some who say that the only reason Microsoft chose to support HD-DVD was to perpetuate the “war” and keep people from adopting either format, just so that digital downloads would be the ultimate winner. There’s some validity to that argument. After all, if Microsoft *really* wanted HD-DVD to succeed, they would have made an XBOX 360 model that was HD-DVD compatible out of the box. That would have matched Sony’s scheme and, with a much larger library, could have tipped the scales.

9. Sony can’t be trusted
Sony has proven one thing over the years: they can’t be trusted. Don’t forget that these are the guys who crippled people’s computers with their anti-copying technology. They are also the guys who tried (and failed) to push minidiscs and UMDs on consumers. And we know from the way they’ve handled the PS3 that they can’t even be trusted to stay true to the backwards compatibility of Blu-ray. After all, they dropped PS2 support from the low-end PS3 when they felt it was causing people to keep buying PS2 games instead of the more expensive PS3 titles. Who’s to say in three years when Blu-ray *still* hasn’t grown past 10% of the marketplace in disc sales, they won’t phase out backwards compatibility to “push things along”?

Also, as noted, Sony doesn’t really have a great track record with introducing new technology. The last really “new” item that Sony introduced was the Walkman and they dominated the portable music market for years. Of course, they handed that away to Apple with their ridiculous refusal to support mp3 files, so that’s gone. Letting Sony “win” this battle may ultimately mean that the two sides were fighting over who gets to be the next laserdisc. *

10. Don’t get railroaded
It’s bad enough that we’re being forced into “digital transmissions” that few people want, but to try and force a new, generally unneeded format onto a public that doesn’t want it is a waste of time and energy. I find it hard to believe that the general public is ready to move back over the $20 price point for a standard DVD just because it’s in Hi-Def. Oh, the videophiles will, but most people don’t even see the difference. Particularly if they have an upscaling DVD player. So most people won’t buy it until the prices are as low as DVD or they are forced to (because the studios stop making DVDs). What that means is, either the public is forced to support a format they don’t like, or Blu-rays return to the current status quo. The first option is an insult to consumers and the second does nothing to help studios make more money now that DVD sales have flatlined.

And if you are interested in getting into Hi-Def media, you can forget about those regular price drops and great free movie and buy-one-get-one-free sales. Without a competitor, you can expect Sony to pull back on most of their promotions, as they were only meant to keep you from going HD-DVD. they figure you’ve got no choice but to move “up” to Blu-ray now.

Prove them wrong.

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*Note: Remember, laserdiscs were a very successful product for many years, despite never capturing a significant portion of the home video market. While Beta died because the average consumer didn’t want it, the high-end user also bought and used laserdiscs for its many advantages. The same may happen now. DVD may continue to be the format of choice, while Blu-ray becomes the choice of the high-end user; never the mainstream format, but something that keeps chugging along.

Me? I went to film school. Here’s the proof, the last film I made as a student in the Rochester Institute of Technology “Film & Video” program, back in 1989.

It’s called The Ring and is actually the end-of-semester joint project of my team, Ambrosia Pictures. (The freshman class was split into teams, so as to foster the ability to work with others.) We worked out the story together and the basic look and feel of the film. I acted mostly as director and the entire thing was edited by me (my favorite part of filmmaking) at home in my living room (where I am sitting and typing this today).

Anyway, I enjoyed my time making movies at RIT, not so much going to school. We parted ways completely within the year and higher education and myself agreed to disagree. (Of course, I work at the University of Rochester School of Nursing these days, but I have pledged to learn as little as possible, I swear.)