Film #075 - House of the Dead (2003)
Viewed March 16, 2006
Hoo boy! I know I found myself somewhat defending Alone In The Dark earlier this year. There was some stuff in there that I thought was pretty good. The same cannot be said about director Uwe Boll’s previous video game adaptation, House of the Dead.
House of the Dead is far and away the worst video game adaptation I have ever seen. And I’ve seen Super Mario Bros. (1993), Street Fighter (1994) and Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004).
Firstly, it must be noted that the film pays little attention to the events of the video game. While both involve zombies, the basic premises have no other similarities. The claustrophobic nature of the game, with its narrow passages and creepy surroudnings, are replaced by an island and waves of zombies that have none of the shock of the game’s.
The main cast is universally bad. None of them stand out in the least, with the exception of Enuka Okuma and Ona Grauer, who at least have the advantage of being attractive women. Their characters, however, hold no more appeal than the other cookie-cutter “young people” portrayed as the victims of the events.
In support, there is a bit more hope. Clint Howard gives a typically energetic turn as Salish, an eccentric seaman. Jürgen Prochnow (best known from Das Boot (1981)) seems to be enjoying the opportunity to get in some action hero work as the ship’s captain, Kirk. (Yet another of the script’s uninspired notions.)
Uwe Boll must be held accountable for the deplorable decisions that he made throughout this movie. The decision to include actual footage from the video game is the worst of the lot, but not the only duffer. Boll directs the action sequences with wild abondon, leading them to make little sense. The storming of a building late in the film (travesing a space that could be no more than forty to fifty feet) seems to take forever, with the characters more interested in engaging in high-flying combat than actually reaching safety. Quiter moments are stiff and unemotional, conveying no sense of connection between the characters (even those in love with each other).
There is ultimately nothing to be found to recommend House of the Dead. Fans of the horror genre will be disappointed by the unrealistic violence. Fans of the game will deplore the deviation from the game’s plot. Without a decent name actor in the cast, those are the only two groups who might have been inclined to see this film in the first place and there’s nothing here for them. Or you. Or anyone.